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3 Bumps

Child has no "currency"

What I mean by that is that every child should have some kind of thing (currency) that's negotiable to encourage good behavior.

Clean your room or lose your IPOD
do your homework or no TV
take turns or the Xbox is going away

What do you do for discipline when a child has no "currency" ? I've suffered in silence with this problem for awhile but my sons teacher in a meeting last week told me that she tries to negotiate (threaten) him with losing gym and he doesn't care, even though she knows how much he LOVES gym. She asked him why one day and he responded "your school has a big gym, my mom bought me nice gym shoes. I know I'll be back in there eventually". Exact response I get from him at home..... is it spankin' time now?

Answer Question

Asked by hibbingmom at 4:17 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • You just keep going until you find something that matters to him and keep taking it away for longer periods of times until you find a time period that works. I dont spank my kids at all, never have had to. There is always something that works. I have grounded, taken things away, made them write lines, write letters of apology to teachers when they messed up, sit in the corner (even when they were older bc if they want to act like babies Ill treat them like babies) and things like that.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I'd ask the teacher to take gym away,but while he should be in gym, make him help, like cleaning the boards, or passing out papers, or taking down a board. At home, I'd do the same thing, talking back? No tv time, and while your siblings are watching, you get to help mom fold lau dry, won't clean your room? No video games, and during that free time, you get to help mom do dishes... Etc. Stick with it, and good luck!

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 4:31 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Maybe you should try to look at it on a larger scale. See what he really wants to do this summer and tell him we can go there or do that or get that if I don't get any more notes from your teachers this year. Kind of like how some parents used to give their kids money for good report cards (never my parents). If you take something away they know eventually they will get it back, if it's something they have to work towards, it's not something they yet have and won't get until they've been good for a long time. Good luck!

    Answer by at 4:43 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • One of my friends has a son who is exactly the same way. He would actually decide sometimes that the punishment WAS worth the crime.

    They worked out a detailed point system that lasts for the entire school year. If he earns points, he gets something he really wants at the end of the school year - e.g. an X Box. I had really mixed feelings about this when they first started but it really works. His dad's rational was that very few of us would go to work if we didn't get a paycheck. Some people need to work toward something.

    It is difficult sometimes to have a kid who is as smart as yours and can figure these things out! Good luck~

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 5:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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