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2 Bumps

What would you do?EDITED

to start off me and my bf also my child's father have different views on how we would like our son raised i want a happy , polite , loving home as the same as i grew up in in jersey . He was born and raised in brooklyn where his mother a single mom cursed like a sailor , beat him and his sis all the time if they didnt do anything how she wanted it . All he is doing right now is cursing which i dnt comdom just because our son is 2months know but he has to make it a happen now so it will be eaiser for him and better for everyone else .He an curse outside the house not while the baby is around which he does and i have told him repeately STOP he doesnt do it doesnt apologize for it so today i called him a c**k s*cker its a word he uses all the time to see how he like the cursing and for what was that he came at me charging saying what did u just call me ?? and he kept touching me i told him STOP touching me (throughout the relatioship he never listens or respects my wishes such as the dont touch me thing but when he says something i respect it ) anyways back to it he didnt stop touching me so he pushed me he knocked me down banged my head on the floor got back up heard my baby cry went to go get him and comfort him and he takes him away like NO give him to me ima take care of him . My point is this is the second time he was touched me the first time he grabbed my face so hard my contact fell out what would you do in my shoes my son is 2mnths old im 19 yrs old no job and not in school should i stay or try and find a solution witout him ?

P.S. i have my sis who helps me out but i also want to do my own thing im not a lazy bum either i wanted to do school online buh my sis needed to sign for me and she didnt think i was ready for the baby is too young and needs me often just in case i know what you guys were thinking

 

So i called my sister for advice and she tells me to tell him either get anger management to stay  at the house or come home but i will file a report , what does he tell do as you please are you freakin kidding me???

Answer Question
 
firstimemommy21

Asked by firstimemommy21 at 4:59 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 12 (663 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Order of protection, seek the help of your family. Get out of the relationship before your son is old enough to be affected by it.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 5:05 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I dont think anyone should put up with abuse
    newlife627

    Answer by newlife627 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • You need to get out of there, this sounds like an abusive relationship and it's not going to get any better, it's just going to get worse and worse, it's a bad enviroment for you and it's an even worse enviroment for your child....there are all kinds of places that will help you, you just need to find the right recources...In California there is a place called WEAVE and it is designed specifically to help women in your kind of situation....I don't know if they have it where you live but I'm sure if you do a little research you will be able to find something similar...Good luck with everything
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 5:08 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Answering from experience! I had my first son at the age of 17 and a month later I turned 18 now I lived with my bd and he was the same way! Never respected me always hit me and he even would get mad at me while I was pregnant with our son just for sleeping too much he would drag me out of the bed by my hair and when my son was born it got worse when my son was 6 weeks old he choked me til I passed out under my sons crib while he lay in his bed screaming then he dragged me to the bathroom and threw me in the tub filled with ice cold water..another time he banged my head against the bathroom wall til I passed out and another time when my son was 9 months old he choked me til I passed out all while my 9 month old son was in my arms..we used to fight over stupid shit but my point is it started with the cursing and the pushing then it escalated to slapping then punching..advice? Look for a job and move in with ur sis..
    djimenezlove85

    Answer by djimenezlove85 at 5:09 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:10 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • First press charges on him. Do not allow him to take your power away from you. Next move out, with the police over looking your moving arrangements. If you do not do anything about this abuse it will get worst. For now he is toying with you because you are unable to work and provide for yourself.

    I am going to tell you and these other ladies a little about me. I moved from Brooklyn NY to Georgia pregnant and no where to go. I was not willing to be beaten then raped and treated like the hired help. The next move was organizing my life I moved into a shelter for abused women, that was 5 and a half years ago. Today I am married, back in school and going through therapy. I can get you help where ever you are if your seeking help. I would not want to hear that he did something to you this is why you need to file charges on him. Best to you. Hugs and I will pray for you. Remember God say he will help who help themself.
    dubewife

    Answer by dubewife at 5:12 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • You can do it all on ur own! I didnt leave and ended up getting pregnant again and I stood for four years because of our boys! I finally couldnt do it anymore my boys were getting bigger and I didnt want them growing up thinking it was ok to yell and hit a woman expecially them coming from a woman..he kicked me out with our two boys in the dead of winter with no where to go and my youngest was only 1 month old..I went to a womans shelter started working the following day and never went back..believe me from experience there is going to be times were u just want to ball up in a corner and cry til u die! and its ok to do so..(as long as ur kid dosent see) but then u pick urself right back up and keep on going! You can do it all on ur own! I did and I know have found a wonderful man (after an ugly divorce and another son later) who is giving me the most wonderful gift in this world! a baby girl! things get better..but dont make
    djimenezlove85

    Answer by djimenezlove85 at 5:14 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • the same mistake I did! dont stay because of ur son or no where to go! I had NO ONE!! no one at all!! and I did it all on my own! Swallow ur pride and ask ur sis for help do it for ur son! Dont allow him to see what is going on..cuz even though he is small now he DOES know whats going on..
    djimenezlove85

    Answer by djimenezlove85 at 5:17 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Get out of there, get an Emergency Protection order(or whatever it's called in your state), take him to court for custody and child support and NEVER LOOK BACK!!! You don't want your son to grow up to be like this, so it's definitely a good thing to get out while he's still young enough to not know what's going on. It's not always better to stay with the dad unfortunately.
    Mamapunkin21809

    Answer by Mamapunkin21809 at 5:22 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • He grew up in an abusive environment, he's not going to see anything wrong with his behavior without therapy. You need to get you and your baby to a safe place, this will get worse! Let your sister help you.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:00 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

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