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Any suggestions on how to discipline?

I have a 6 yo boy that is very mouthy and stubborn. He gets in trouble at school and on the bus. He is always beating on his 3 yo brother and I don't know what to do anymore. I have tried the corner, I have tried physical discipline even though it doesn't work and I hate doing it (smack on the butt) I have tried positive rewarding and nothing seems to work. When I yell at him he tells me to go away, calls me stupid or a retard, says he hates me, or even just makes a growling sound. What are your suggestions?

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Asked by mamacam7 at 8:24 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (149 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • go to a behavioral counsoler and get a mobile therapist, they will help as long as you follow what they say to do.

    Answer by raynebowstarz at 8:26 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Extreme behaivior like this sometimes has an underlying issue like....adhd or anger problems. is this a possibility? The growling noise is really what makes me think this.

    Answer by lil_momma_vdv at 8:28 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • My 3 yo has been diagnosed as ADHD so it is possible but I never really though much into that because they are completely opposite...I guess I am just a little worried about getting him checked out because he already has a speech delay and is still in preschool (2nd year) getting ready to start kindergarten....I just hope he doesn't have more problems to deal with!

    Comment by mamacam7 (original poster) at 8:30 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • A 6 year old growling isn't typical behavior. Although it could be a maturity issue, it sounds like he may have an emotional disorder. Oppositional defiant disorder and emotionally disturbed children (just a couple of diagnosis examples) are not bad kids. Although their behavior is often times horrendous, and it seems like they're "bad" there really is a chemical imbalance occurring in their brains that causes these outrageous negative behaviors. With a combination of medications to restore the balance, and behavioral therapy to teach the positive behaviors they've lived so long without these children can grow up to be very successful and well put together adults. But ignoring the problem is only going to make it worse. I'd be asking for an evaluation by a child psychologist, and then go from there. He may be choosing to act this way, but there may also be an underlying issue that isn't completely his fault.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 11:14 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • He is misunderstood. When children feel understood, they don't act out as much. He is an and Indigo child. Don't let the school system tell you that he is bad, and put him on drugs. You have to be creative and positive, don't hit. Your child most likely won't respond to authority. This is because indigo's are born with a sense of self already and don't respond well to systems. Is he a system buster at school?.. I bet he is. He is a born leader. Does he seem bright, but easily frustrated?.. Oppositional and defiant?.. He is a leader. Talk to him as though he is a dear trusted friend, Adult,( He has an old soul).. You can probably see it in his eyes. Ask him questions that you think he does not know the answers to. TEST HIS WIT. If you treat him like royalty he will feel he belongs. This kind of child need the Woldorf style education for homeschooling. He is one of the newly evolved children. The indigo child is a good book!

    Answer by Avitar at 1:07 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I am almost certain that in about 10 years 50-80% of our children will be considered behaviorally challenged. We have to get rid of the old ways of doing things. Our educational system needs to accommodate our Newly Evolved children. These children are being born and are showing behaviors that have never been documented before. The schools need to change the old ways that they teach to accommodate ours kid. They would rather drug them to keep in all under control. Don't fall for the ADHD Trap. Evolution is not past tense, it's happening every day. We see it in our new kids. You need to read the Indigo child. YOU CAN GET IT AT JUST ABOUT ANY BOOK STORE. Drugs leave them numb,kills creativity, and leave them feeling like they have missed out on part of their childhood. Don't hurt the indigo child.

    Answer by Avitar at 1:21 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I partially agree with that but my 3 yo is on a medication called tenex....He is still himslef just not "climbing walls". it helps him focus in school so he is able to learn but it does not "numb" or "zombiefy" him like most meds we here about. I do however believe that schools should change how they teach to accomadate these issues!

    Comment by mamacam7 (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • You have to take away (temporarily) the things he likes most, tv, candy etc for long enough for him to miss whatever it is and you have to be consistent, mean what you say and say what you mean. never has to be physical, and rewards dont usually work.

    Answer by dharmagirl at 10:39 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • This does not sound like "normal" naughty young boy behaviors to me.. I would speak with teh school counselors to have him evaluated and get him some help for managing his issues. GOod luck.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:58 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

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