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What words of advice would you give to your brother (away in the military) who claims to be "in love"..?

My brother has came to me for advice so its not like i'm putting my nose where it doesnt belong..but he has interest in a girl that he went to school with but really has only known through facebook. He says he loves her. they have only been in a 4 month relationship and he plans to come home in may to visit with us and her..(for the 1st time) ..anyways they skype everyday and talk on a daily basis and he just seems to be so in love with this person he really knows nothing about. Anyways, he has mentioned to me that he thinks she has "high expectations"..that when he comes home he feels like if he doesnt make some sort of committment that he has fears she will leave. I've tried telling him how it takes a strong woman to be with a military man..especially one that is overseas..and that if she truly loves him she will wait for him to come home before expecting him to make such a committment to her. ..but he could express his feelings of how he feels. idk..i'm just trying to look out for him, anything else i could say?

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Asked by shay1130 at 9:06 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • to take it slow. A military lifestyle is not for everyone and is not easy.

    Answer by Soniam301 at 9:10 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • If he thinks it's love then just support him. I agree with you & I would encourage him to take it slow and if she rushes things (or leaves) then it's not real love...but then you know that. He might not listen to that

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:10 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • No commitment until he is out unless he's a lifer. They need more than 4 months to get to know each other. There is plenty of time to get to know each other. They have the rest of their lives. If she feels the same way about him, she will wait.

    Answer by Kimimale at 9:13 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Thats true about her waiting for him..But i def think he should wait. Especially getting married or any kinda of commitment. military men are very lonley and want compainionship. even with ppl they shouldnt. This has happeend to me. (We have been together for 2yrs in HS. and a yr after. we broke up before he went to the AF) But got back together when i visited him when he graduated B.C.

    My soon to be ex husband is in the AF and we NVR got along-yet, we still loved each other, and i was always there for him when he needed. I was the only person to come see him graduate boot camp-and the only girl that has stuck by him..So since i was the only girl around-he felt that we should get married. and It was a huge mistake. The reason why he married me cause he was lonly and the only girl that gave him the time of day.

    I would tell him to wait!! Its the lonliness that gets to them...

    Answer by JaydnsMom22 at 9:14 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • i have a military bf and all the resposibility of a army wife... the training (gone weeks at a time), 24-40hr shifts, and deployments are HARD, and nothing eases it. its just constant worry and constant fear. This chick will not leave him if he just tells her straight up how hard all this is and that he loves her, if she really cares about him. And if she does leave then she wasnt the right girl in the first place. Now i dont know what your bothers MOS is but he has to consider one thing if she is willing to wait till hes back from deployment for a "comitment" then she may be able to handle the military life if not then he would have givin it everything he has just to have her cheat/leave while he was gone with her excuse being that he was never there... he doenst need the heart ache. I know to many soldiers that have had this happen.

    Answer by thesouthernmom at 1:57 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

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