Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A family member had a baby today, same day as the day I lost my child. How can I be happy for her.

I feel bad. This day has been a sad day for me for the last ten years. I saw on facebook that she had her baby today, and I got really sad. How do I not be sad. I feel weird. I miss my baby. I want to be happy for her.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I'm sorry. (((hugs)))
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 9:48 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss...you are entitled to miss your child, she's entitled to be happy for her s. Since it's a family member, you'll be dealing with this every year for a long time. This is what I would do. I would write this family member a nice note, explaning while you are excited and happy for the new addition to the family, it reminds you of the loss since it happened on the same day. Althought it's been a long time, it's still very painful for you esp on this particular day. Send a simple gift to celebrate her child's birth, but explain you can't be there physically. She's a mom now, she will understand (maybe not right away, but eventually she will).
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 10:21 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Know that you can still conceive
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:54 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I'm sorry for your loss, I was on the other side of this, I had a baby the same day my husbands closest cousins wife lost their baby at 8 months pregnant. I didn't know for 2 weeks, even though everyone else did, but when I found out I called her, I told her I was so sorry for her loss and was there for her if she needed me, she opened up to me and we talked then she asked if I would bring our baby to visit soon, they live 2 hours away. I took the baby to see her when she was a month old, it was hard for her and her husband but they said it somehow made her feel better. The key was that we talked, she told me how she felt and she was happy for us, even though she was hurting so much. I think you should call and talk to her, tell her how you feel and go from there. Its still very hard on them to see my daughter and not think about how their son would be but they also love seeing her and how she has grown. She will understand.
    BusyBeesmom

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 11:23 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • So call, welcome the baby and talk, it might be good for both of you. Good luck and again I am sorry for your loss.
    BusyBeesmom

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 11:25 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.