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My daughter doesn't listen to me!

Everytime I tell my daughter something she don't listen... If I punish her she don't listen unless her dad steps in. I feel like he is making her think that it don't matter what I say. I confronted him today about it and he don't think he's doing anything wrong. I can't punish her cause he won't help inforce it... I just need help on how to gain control over my daughter again.


Asked by charmd18 at 10:31 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • ok She is not even 3 yet, so you have to remember it takes 18 years to grow an adult. She is only just learning about the world & 95% of the things you think she is doing to be naughty, she has no idea about. She is not developmentally old enough to share, to understand relationships etc.
    Don't look to your DH for back up, as that shows her you don't think you have the authority on your own. If you are disciplining her ask him to stay totally out of it and to not confort her til it is over- also think of the discipline - it should be a minute time out for each year of age -for her that is only 2 minutes, the reason they say that is because that truly is the extent of her attention. Think in terms of a loving discipline rather than punishment. Try things like - We have to sit on the step together for 2 minutes - don't make her out to be the bad person and your over her, both go to time out to cool down -she is a little toddler

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:16 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Anon, that is a little easier said than done. And to the asker, if the form of punishment isnt working, try a different form. And try your hardest not to yell or seem angry. Just tell her in a firm tone that she is sitting in time out for what she did, after the time out, taking away of a toy, etc. Explain to her what she did wrong and what to to next time. Always make sure she understands and give her a hug at the end. It shows her what she did wrong, what to do to fix it, that Mom is boss and she will be punished for doing bad things, but also that you love her no matter what. Good luck!

    Answer by merandaobrien at 12:43 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I dont' know what to tell you but good luck. I'm having issues with my 16 yo son.

    HUGS - I hope you find the answer that will help

    Answer by autbot at 10:32 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • She's probably responding to your negative energy and it sounds like you are one who over reacts. Teach the child don't freak out on her. Geez she's only 3

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • how old is she

    Answer by myheartx4 at 10:32 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • she is almost 3

    Comment by charmd18 (original poster) at 10:34 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • cont'd - it is really easy to let 'punishment' get well beyond the crime, if she throws a toy then it goes away for 10 minutes, not all day, if she is cheeky make a sad face and say " you make me sad when you say that" . We show our kids that we are either for them or against them, and 'punishment' will make you both miserable every day. Redirection, moving attention, expressive faces (sad mommy) 'Oh dear now we have to sit on the step til we calm down" makes it a team effort that she can be part of, rather than a little girl who's Mommy is angry at her.
    Good Luck, I promise it gets easier

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2011