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2 Bumps

My friends 5 year old daughter was hanging on my 4 year old son at the store and I repeatedly had to say "keep our hands to ourselves" but my friend never said anything to her daughter instead told my son to toughen up. What are some suggestions on how to deal with this situation. It's very upsetting to me.

Answer Question

Asked by macombmom3232 at 11:27 PM on Mar. 6, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Can you tell your friend directly something like, "I am having trouble getting the kids to listen to me, would you mind reminding your daughter to keep her hands to her herself?"

    I am with you . . . . your son doesn't have to have someone hanging on him, and it is really good education for both of them to see you advocating.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:29 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Talk to your friend about it in private away from the kids. Explain that it bothers you. If they don't respect that tell them that the kids won't be able to hang out. Remember your kid comes first not your friendship.

    Answer by rubens-mom at 11:30 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I agree with Rubens-mom. It sounds to me like your friend doesn't have the some idea about touching that you do, but she needs to respect you in that. You have to talk to her privately, tell her you are teaching your son to protect his private space and you'd appreciate if she would help. Good luck!

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:39 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • Bump to all above, we work really hard to teach our kids that they get to say who touches them. Tell your friend this is an important issue to you and you need her to support that. She will probably get snippy but that's her problem not yours. If she is a close friend she will respect your right to parent your child your way, and if she doesn't she is not someone who will be a good feature in you and your sons life. And as far as telling your child to toughen up, that si out of line and I wouldn't let her say it again, boys are allowed to have personal space and say so if they feel invaded.. Good luck xx

    Answer by myheartx4 at 11:52 PM on Mar. 6, 2011

  • I don't blame you. Some people just don't like to be touched all the time. I don't blame you one bit. Boys especially. Tell your friend that he doesn't like someone hanging on him, and that it's a boy thing. Boys and girls react differently to someone hanging onto them.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:05 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Re-enact this with your child, teach him ways to deal with it in the future. This will not be the last time , as kids are more physical than adults because they lack the words to express their total feelings. He needs to learn to say please stop face to face with person. Parents also should tell their children to stop doing something. The child is not learning her boundaries from her mother, and sadly she will learn them the hard way in life if her mother doesn't guide her in the right direction. It's physical abuse if unwanted at any age. Don't let your son learn to be a victim.

    Answer by Avitar at 12:35 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

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