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If you were married to a great man who is also the father of your child...

We've been married for a few years but a year and a half ago he cheated on me and he confessed to me about it. 8 months ago we had a baby (surprise). He's a wonderful man and an even better father. I love him dearly and I know he regrets what he did. I have no suspicion that he's ever done it again or is now. Would you be able to forgive and move on? Do you believe people make mistakes and should be given second chances?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • people do make mistakes and grow from them
    the old mantra once a cheater always a cheater is not always true
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Counseling would be in order. I'd make the decision after that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:25 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • My personal life experience tells me that if it ever happened to me again I couldnt stay married. Yes people make mistakes but making a choice to have sex with another person knowing you are married isnt a mistake in my opinion.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 11:26 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I would have major trust issues forever, I don't think I could get past it.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 11:26 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • That'd be a deal breaker for me. I'm one of those girls who believe I deserve the best, and a guy who was able to have sex with someone while married to me, is a loser IMO. I would have a major trust issurpe with him, and turst is key in a relationship. Sorry, npbut he'd be gone?
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:39 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • No. I already have to fight an urge to flee when dealing with trust issues. I don't think I could get past it
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 11:39 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I think it's definately possible. You could totally be sorry and never do it again. USUALLY cheaters are cheaters but I think occasionaly people change:) Happy for you!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:43 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • personally i hold grudges forever, it's just a personal character flaw for me so i would not be able to get over it. i found out that my son's father cheated on me but i didn't find out until after the relationship was over and it still hurts even though we're over. I also found out my son's father cheated on another girl with me when he and i first got together. i felt incredibly guilty so i sought her out and apologized. i personally would not be able to get over it but if you can then by all means give your child a better more complete life with daddy i the pic. Good luck mommy!
    lashes325

    Answer by lashes325 at 11:47 AM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Personally I would not be able to get over it. But that is me and I make no apologies for the way I am. Once he would have confessed it would have been over right then and there.
    I have only given a second chance to one person, and that is my dh, and our situation was vastly different. He wanted a committed relationship and I wasnt ready so he moved back home (out of state). Eventually I did want a committed relationship, and he wasnt ready. We finally got it together and made a go of things and worked out the hurt and issues we had caused, but neither of us had ever cheated on the other.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:54 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I can only answer based on my personal experience with my husband cheating many years ago.

    A relationship can survive and thrive after cheating. However. It depends on a few things: why the cheating happened to begin with, have all issues from before cheating and after been addressed and rectified (or at least mutually happy/livable compromises made), did the cheater have to earn their second chance (were there stipulations given that have been met: were there issues that needed to be rectified and were, were there things that needed to be accomplished by the cheater first..etc), is the cheater working to have an open life with no secrets and are they doing everything they can to try and re-earn trust, are BOTH partners willing to give 100% and do what it takes to totally rebuild the relationship (which is a must, the old one is dead, a new one must be reborn).

    If these things are happening. Yes it is possible to move on.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:05 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

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