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WHEN DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH

Ok..quick run down..my hubby got fired 2yrs ago..4 kids..so I had to go on public asst an lose my house..now livin in low income housing..I had to drop out of college to job hunt..4 kids with a disability..2 adhd,2 speech..so I'm in meetings&principle off more than job huntin...his job said he can come back 2 work if he can lower his sugar level..2yrs and he ain't done it yet..I got a part time job an my dad helps me out..he slps all day..up all nite..they recently repoed my truck..everthing I do to motivate him is a problem in his eyes..he says I'm wrong 4 being frustrated with him..I'm gettin beyond frustrated with him..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • you have every right to be frustrated!
    malkaTZ

    Answer by malkaTZ at 12:05 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Ty..its put a strain on our sex life cause as of lately I really don't want to b in the same bed with him
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:08 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Oh, I would be frustrated, too. It sound like you are working so hard to keep your family going, and your husband is not giving you any indication that he is working hard, as well.

    Just a thought: let him know you are stressed, sad, overworked. Give him a simple list of things you need him to do in order for you to keep you head on straight.

    1) be up during the day and helping with family
    2) get your blood sugar under control
    3) Send in two applications a week

    Try not to get judgemental or angry . . . . the point is to get him to agree to take some of the stress off. Let him know that you are not sure how much longer you can carry the family and be a good mom and wife.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:09 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • It's time to draw some lines and enforce them. You have to give the man some reason to want to be different than he is. As long as you are taking care of everything, that is not going to happen. If your dad is willing to help out you and the kids, then that is great, but do not allow a husband who refuses to work reap any of the benefits of that help. He's had enough time, and he's done nothing. I am not recommending that you divorce him, but I am recommending that you start making his life a bit more difficult than you have been doing. It's time for him to grow up and take responsibility for himself and then for you and the family, too.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:10 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • get the hell out. you are doing it on your own already. why would you want to keep a round a lazy bum that has no motivation?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:11 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • you have every right to be frustrated! i think it's bullshit that guys think of themselves while the family is struggling and the wife is wearing herself thin with worry. UGH! MEN!!! I'd deny him sex to start off and then give him a deadline of when he needs to find a job by cuz this really isn't fair to you or the kids or your dad. Wait why the heck are you going to the principal's office for the kids? He should be able to do that while he's out job hunting!
    lashes325

    Answer by lashes325 at 12:13 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • @ Imaginationmama..I have done those things..
    I've tried to plan walks with him for excercise..no go
    Let's go to bed early..no go
    Look in paper for both of us..no go for him..I was ready to take a 2nd job but my dad to me no..an has stepped in helped me out with the kids..he got me 2 trucks in the last 6 mons..so we both could have a vehicle to get around in..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:14 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • @ 325..I'm in the principle off so much cause my 2 oldest are teens they both have adhd..an 1 is has more problem than just that so I get constant calls b/t the 2 of them daily...an I think honestly I haven't left yet cause I don't want to feel like I desserted him..cause I still do love him but love alone isn't gonna make me happy..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:19 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Id be beyond fed up. I always give my dh a time period in which he must look for a job or he knows I will go home to my moms.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:24 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I'd have definitely given my hubs some time lines and ultimatiums. He'd either willing start doing what is expected or he would be gone.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:34 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

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