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So hurt...is it supposed to be this way?

My husband freaks out once in a while, and I can't figure out what is going on. Things will be going good--having fun, happy, making plans for the future, playing with our daughter, etc, etc, then all of a sudden he'll flip out and say mean, hurtful things and act like I'm making his life a living hell. I don't think that any of it is true. I think there's some underlying thing going on that he isn't dealing with-something with himself. But he won't talk to me about anything. Just these crazy episodes he has every now and again where he REALLY flips. He's never hit me or anything, just so that's clear, but it's starting to worry me, not to mention that I don't believe for a second that I deserve to be treated like this or have him say the things he does. He always apologizes later and says he loves me and things are fine for another couple weeks, but gee, what on earth am I supposed to do? Any insight?

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sophiafarris

Asked by sophiafarris at 11:18 PM on Nov. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • he sounds like he needs to see a therapist, could be something actually wrong.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 11:20 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I might be Bipolar. Maybe he should go and try to talk to a therapist.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 11:21 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I meant HE, not ME!!!!
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 11:22 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I've had the thought (about the being bipolar). I know he's had problems in his past...emotional issues with his family and what not, but if there's something he's still not come to terms with, he won't talk to me about it, and holy smokes, if I suggested that he go talk to a therapist (of which there have been a few over his lifetime thus far) he would freak out even more, even though I mean it in a good and helpful way (of course, as he and our daughter mean the world to me). I just really don't know what to do or how to go about dealing with it. And I feel so hurt.
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 11:24 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • How long has he been doing this for? Sometimes it does escalate to physical violence. I just mean that it could if you don't deal with it. Not all men just hit their wives right away. Sometimes they start off slowly. an angry bout here, an angry bout there and then oneday he will hit you. but by then he will already know how to manipulate you psychologically. He will have already worn you down. so just be careful. deal with the problem now. don't settle for anything less than to be treated with respect. It sounds as if he has anger issues. Even if he is incredibly unhappy with life or himself or whatever doesn't mean that he should be so mean. Good luck.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:25 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I think you should pray about it and pray with him and tell him God can make everything better for you all . Hope it helped God bless
    hinson7169

    Answer by hinson7169 at 11:25 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • Lol Kenziesmom! I had to reread it but that was funny.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:27 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • My SO and I were in the same situation. I didn't know what to do either. I figured it had something to do with his past (he was sexually abused). So, I suggested we go and see a "couples" therapist, but I found one that dealt with bipolar and anger problems too. I went with him to all of them and it seems to have worked for us so far. We only went for about a month and for the last six months we have been doing alot better. The therapist got to his anger and bipolar during the sessions, so I guess I kind of tricked him in a way. Good Luck!
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 11:30 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • maybe he is bi-polar? my beau is like that to an extent and I know for fact his mom is bi-polar. she acts exactly (if not worse than) like you described. it is like walking on egg shells with him some times. I've found just pretending everything is normal and not my fault till he clues me in as to WTH is going on in his head ( some times it takes a lot of prying and he gets irritated with me asking questions, but it works) and am able to take appropriate action.

    I hope that helps in some way.
    MythicMMM

    Answer by MythicMMM at 11:30 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • It hasn't been going on very long at all. I think it's sort of a relatively new thing, honestly. Most of it has started since we had our baby in June, and I think that's part of it. It's definitely stressful. For me too! But we've been married almost a year and a half, and have been together for a long time, so in the scheme of our relationship, this is a very recently developed thing.
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 11:32 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

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