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How can I get my 3-yr old to stop crying over everything?

My 3-yr old excessivley cries and whines whenever he is frustrated, angry, is told no, or even if a toy doens't behave the way he wants it too. He is on a 3-4 yr old soccer team and he cries the whole game because he doesn't get to kick the ball. He is the crier on the team. We encourage him to use words to descirbe what he is feeling. We have tried time-outs, calm down time, and shake the "whinnys" out to deal with the whining, to no avail.
Is this something that will pass in time?
Do you have any advice, tips or tricks to stop the crying?
Thank you

Answer Question

Asked by macboysmom at 1:58 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • For your sake, I really hope he gets over it. :( The most I can suggest is to literally cover your ears when he whines and not respond to him at all unless he is using a better tone. If he cries over a toy, take it away. If he's crying on the soccer pitch, maybe he's too young to be involved in that activity. Good luck!

    Answer by Nonoluna at 2:01 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Quit making him do things you know will upset him. He doesn't want to play Soccer so take him off the team. He whines bc you don't listen to him and it's hard for him to express himself. Use words? From a three year old repetoire of words? Get serious. Time out? From what he probably doesn't even understand himself? Yeah that's effective. Work with him. TEACH HIM quit punishing him and making his life worth whining over. Shake the whinnys out? I'm an adult and have no clue what that means so he can't either. Use your head. Keep it simple and logical to a wee person. You expect so much of this little boy that he's totally freaking now. Lighten up and he'll be fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • "I can't hear you when you're crying." Then turn and walk away. Worked for mine. Might work for yours.

    Answer by Kimimale at 2:11 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I simply tell my 4 year old that I can't understand him when he is crying or whining, because I honestly cannot make out the words properly. It seems to be helping.

    I will admit I have put him in timeout when he gets really upset and starts yelling at me. I tell him that he needs to sit on his bed, the couch, the chair, whatever until he calms down enough to be quiet and talk to me. Sometimes he does just need a chance to calm himself down.

    I have to agree that sounds like maybe he's just not ready for soccer though...

    Answer by kfroz0415 at 2:41 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I don't get how the anon. poster above expects you to quit making him do things that will upset him! lol He is a child, you are a parent. Sometimes, our job is to upset them since they can't make decisions that are in their best interest or safety. Try to figure out the reason that he is crying. Is he trying to get his way? Is he sleeping well enough? When my daughter doesn't nap, she is much fussier than usual. If she is throwing a fit or being excessively whinny because she didn't get her way(or whatever), I tell her when she is through crying, Mommy will talk to her, and I walk away. I have put her in timeout as well. I ignore fits because trying to communicate while that's going on is almost impossible. They need to learn that throwing a fit is not the way to get anything. Attention IS something. Be consistent. Hang in there, Momma! I agree about him maybe not being ready for soccer too.

    Answer by MacyKaysMommy at 2:47 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • When my son is whining over something stupid I make him go to his room. I detest whining and refuse to listen to it. When he can come out and say with words what the deal is, I'll listen. Other than that he better get the heck away.

    Whining is my number 1 pet peeve.

    Answer by lstrickland at 4:48 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I will definitely have to try the "I can't hear/understand you when you are crying/whining" technique. I wondered if the crying and whining was for attention, but he gets plenty of it. I am a SAHM and I make sure that each of my two kids get attention together as brothers and individual time with me. Lots of reading together, going on walks, art projects, etc. Thank for your responses.

    Comment by macboysmom (original poster) at 8:26 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Teach him some problem solving skills so that you know he does know how to do it! That will help with some of the frustration with toys. If it's crying about minor things and whining, just ignore it and tell him to use a "regular voice". Kids understand this! Let him know that you can't understand his words when he wines or you can tell him that it hurts your ears so you can't answer whining. It works with the children that I work with and is the advice that I give to other moms too. When you're ignoring, really ignore it. Don't them him whine for 10 minutes and answer because you couldn't stand it anymore. That will just teach him to be persistent and you eventually will answer.

    Answer by AlisonAstair at 9:43 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • When he starts crying, start laughing like a crazy person. He'll stop and won't know what to think and it will take his mind off crying. That's what I always did when my kids were little. Sometimes they even started laughing with me. :)

    Answer by TwilightMack at 9:14 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

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