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Makes me soo angry I could pull my hair out!!!

I hate to vent...but- I am so sick of guys! I don't know about other places but the guys around here my age are worthless! I hardly know any men who are successful. All of them around here live with their parents, don't have cars, and don't have jobs and if they do it's fast food jobs. I was a single mom for 3 yrs and every guy that I met was like this, or if they did have a job and house and car they didn't want to have a relationship and only wanted to sleep with you. I have been with my SO for over a year now, and he has never had a car, always lived off me or his family, and worked fast food jobs or been unemployed. I'm not wanting money, I don't want things bought for me, I just want help! I don't want to share my car for him to go to work, because I worked hard for the things I have and don't want them tore up. I know the economy is down but if I can be a single mom with a good paying job and a car and house all while coming home and cooking, cleaning, caring for my child, etc. then their is no reason why any man can not!!! I am 7 months pregnant so things are only going to get harder for me, I just want some help, I know its my fault for getting pregnant again (I was on birth control but it failed) but that doesn't mean I should deserve to continue to struggle alone. I guess the only way I am ever going to have anything is to do things myself though. I truly believe the problem with these guys are their moms! Why? Because they feed, hand out money, and wipe their asses! They think they are helping but they are causing more guys to not know how to be providers or good fathers. My dad would kick my brothers ass if he got a girl pregnant and was living with him working a fast food job with no car! When my dad was 17 he was working and going to school full time so that my mother and I would be taken care of and he had us a car and a house and I wasn't even his kid, there is no reason why a 21 year old shouldn't be able to do so also!

 
kayaiden8907

Asked by kayaiden8907 at 2:39 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,262 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • 21 is very young. You both have a long way to go! But if you love him, I would say hang in there. Pull the load while you can and by God's grace he will get strong enough to do his part. The job market is super tough! Especially if you don't have a degree or trade. Encourage him to be the best at what he does; even if it is just fast food, at least it's steady income. Do what you can to make it work.
    rain408

    Answer by rain408 at 3:09 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I tell my daughters to never depend on others. That way they are never disappointed. If they get help then it's a bonus. So far that's worked for them. I am sure you did the best you could on bc but let's look at this logically...you invested a yr of your life in a guy that started out as a loser. I'm sorry but did you really think he'd improve with time? I don't want to sound like I'm bashing. You have enough on your plate as it is but now you are stuck with this loser for at least the next 18 yrs. I'll just send a hug.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Blame the mothers! More important though is why you continue to pick guys like this. You must have known that this last guy had no car, no job or a fast food job, lived off his family, and had no ambition or desire to change those things before you allowed him to move in with you. Regardless to what or who has caused these guys to behave like this YOU are the one responsible for your choice. You are the one with the selection problem.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • well said, I am raising boys myself too, My husband is there. but he really is not a big help, yes he has a car, and he is working a steady job for us to have our house we live in now. But my husbands mother would always do the work for him. He knows how to turn the washer on and the dryer, but i fold his clothes put them on our bed or where they need to go, does he put them away no. and my now oldest son is 3 and we have him doing chores and one of them is pick up dirty laundry, well his dirty laundry only unless he finds some he can put away. but the first thing my husband said when this became my son's chore well now i can throw my stuff on the floor and he can pick it up and do it for me, I said no we are setting examples we take our stuff off we put them down the shoot, and so does he. But i cook, clean, take care of them, and myself. I get sick and tired of it. But i am trying to teach my 3 year old responsibilities.
    2boysyahoo.com

    Answer by 2boysyahoo.com at 2:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • It sounds to me like you need to pick better men :). I get the impression that you are dominant and may enjoy it and not even realize it. When I dated I had criteria that a man had to meet and if he didn't I moved on. For starters he had to have a good job, a good personality, and be attractive. Money is not everything, but I knew that one day I wanted to just be "mommy" and not have to be super woman and hold a job too. Also, I would never live with a man until I was married. If they want YOU in my opinion they have to earn YOU. I think now a days people move to fast. Get to know someone and become friends before lovers. When I got married my husband had a good job, and 4 years into our marriage he ended up being unemployed for a year. I know what it is like to fall on hard times and it is NOT fun or easy. Only YOU can change it though :)
    sweetiepie8540

    Answer by sweetiepie8540 at 3:14 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

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