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Is this signs of jealousy with my 3 year old son?

My son is 3 and when he was 1 my husband and i decided when he turns 2 that we were going to try for another baby. well i got prego with my son and had him in October. my 3 year old was 2 and half years old when his brother was born.
We prepared him from the day i found out i was pregnant with his brother, showed him his slide show of him when was a baby even the pics, kept showing him the ultrasound pics and even took him to the appts.
when Logan was born, Haiden came to the hosptial with Grandma (my mom) and the first thing he said is mommy baby Logan out of tummy. I said to him yes he is, he is right here. He kissed him, and came up and said hi. Then went down and when my mom held Logan it was the end of the world, he wouldn't let her hold him (still like this too, plus my mom is his favorite grandma). He has gotten better with that.
When Logan was 1 week old he ended up sick and we took him and Haiden to the hospital, where they were doing a bunch of tests and as they were testing him haiden kept asking me is my baby brother ok. I said they are trying to help him and make him better. Turns out Logan had Viral Meningitis and we were in the hospital for 3 days. My mom did take haiden so he didn't have to stay there. My mom did say he was trying to act like a baby, but when we got home he stopped acting like a baby.
Then Logan was 3 weeks and Haiden said mommy i want a pull up now no diapers they are for Logan. So he was potty trained with in 5 days.
SO i thought this was good, no signs of jealousy.
But now he is acting up, and i don't know if it is his age or if he is jealous.
He throws, kicks, hits, takes Logans blanket away when we are shopping (Logan has to carry it around he is now 5months), He sometimes bounces the boucer as hard as he can and makes Logan's head go back and fourth and all around, takes his pacifer away, won't let Logan suck on his fingers, he runs away in public (now we keep him in a cart), he is not saying his thank you's or pleases, he is being mean to his friends and won't play with them and pushes them around. His attitude has gotten worse and he is swearing out of the blue (we watch our mouth around him too).
I don't know what happened. I give Haiden more attention than his brother. Logan only gets my attention when Haiden is napping (and half the time Logan is too), when i am feeding Logan i will talk to him, or when i get him ready for bed. Haiden i play cars with, watch movies, play games with, even play outside in the snow with him and when no snow i still play with him, i talk to him every night and ask how his day is, tuck him in. Yes he also gets the negative attention but i am getting better at ignoring his behavior and just putting him in time out.
We started a chore chart too, where he has to do simple chores like wipe his side of the table when he is done eating, he has to give me his jacket so i can hang it up, and when he takes his shoes off he needs to put them where the other shoes are, he has to put his dirty clothes in the laundry shoot, and help me put away his clothes, and he has to help me dust.
I just can't figure out why he is misbehaving and doing the things i said, is it jealousy of Logan, or is it his age. I don't know if i can handle it anymore

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2boysyahoo.com

Asked by 2boysyahoo.com at 2:42 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,515 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Part of it is jealousy but part of it is the fact that he is 3 years old. (My 13 yr old doesn't always do his chores or say please and thank you.) Your son is testing his boundaries with what he can get away with and how he can treat his brother. He is also attention seeking because he is finally realizing that that other kid really is here to stay. To him attention is attention - positive or negative - the light is on him.

    Try to give him some one on one time, if not every day, then a special date every week. When my middle child was born my oldest and I did the shopping together. He got me to himself, I got the shopping done and if he behaved well for a 2 yr old, he got a treat.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • At 3, kids have no idea how to vocalize what they are feeling so they get attention any way they can, even if its bad. This is a testing of boundries faze. He probably doesn't even know what's wrong. Maybe some one on one time with dad or mom or even grandms would do the trick. Maybe a day alone with dad at the park or something like that would help. :)
    TwilightMack

    Answer by TwilightMack at 9:13 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

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