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ever wonder if you married the wrong man?

Ok So I have been married for 6 years got married at 20, and have had kids. the guy i married seemed perfect at the time and he was my "rebound" from my high school sweet heart who I was with for 3 years.
I find myself always thinking of him (highschool sweet heart) and I recently found out he got married last month and was almost heart broken.
How do you know you are with the right guy? Am I in this just for my kids sake? I am so confussed.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Nov. 21, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • in marriage there will always be times when it's not as great as it was or will be. There are highs and lows. But the sign of a strong marriage is two people who love respect and value one another enough to ride it out and push through the tough times. The fact that it has only been recently that you are thinking about this old flame actually answers your question. You ARE with the right man. Don't bail just yet hun. Get marital counsel if you need to. As for mmmegan38 that really wasn't a fair comment to make. And coincidentally was rather immature itself. Who in a successful and strong marriage HASNT pondered the idea of someone else when times are rough. It doesnt make you immature it makes you human. Its rather naive to think thoughts wont come and go.

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 12:37 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I'm having some marital problems as well lately (I just posted about them a little bit ago, actually)...and lately, yes, I wonder. Deep down I don't believe that I married the wrong man...I do believe in my heart that I married the right person....but at times, when things are a little rough, I can't help but to have those things cross my mind. If you ever need at talk, let me know for sure or feel free to message me.

    Answer by sophiafarris at 11:51 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • i know exactly what you feeling. i married at 21 and just had our 6 yr anniversary, and we getting divorced. we fought all the time and i wasnt happy. i think you just know if something is right or not.. i followed my gut instict and for once in my life im really happy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • No, I don't allow myself those self indulgent thoughts. I'm married to my husband, for better for worse, and will be until the day I die! You choose whether or not you love someone and are happy with them. Sitting around fantasizing about something that can never be is just going to undermine your marriage. Instead, throw yourself into being the best wife you can be and watch the wonders it works in your marriage!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I don't wonder. I love my hubby, before I met him I had two beautiful kids with two very wrong men for me, I had the wrong image of things. it took me asking for God to forgive my many sins and drawing near to Him. I was single for 3 yrs. I healed from my past and learned that my true love was the Lord. I became a new women.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:07 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I am feeling the same. I believe everything happens for a reason but lately I am wondering if the things that are happening are to tell me he is not the one I should be with. I doubt myself and our marriage alot. I find myself wanting to leave but I know he will not let me take the baby so I stay. Most of the time I am unhappy and I believe that it has a lot to do with my marriage. I worry that I will become depressed again and that I will end up losing my child because of it if I do leave. I would rather put up with him as to have to deal with it all. I just don't know what to do. So if you need to talk I am here.

    Answer by Blessedmommy215 at 12:13 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • love is a choice. the difference now is that I pick my fights wisely. I don't want to become the nagging wife the bible talks about be like a dripping faucet. I really believe we learned from our mistakes in previous relationships.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I just had my 19th wedding anniversary and I guess it's a mute point for me. I have had those thoughts though and I would be hypocrytical if I said I didn't. But like pp I married for better or worse. I've had my share of 'worse' as well as better. We've got two fantastic young men we're raising and because of them I wouldn't trade the last 22 years I've had with my man for the world! Remember ....the grass isn't always greener on the other side!

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 12:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Oh yeah so it is okay for you to get married? Yet you felt heartbroken with the fact that your h.s. sweetheart did? Oh grow up.
    Cultivate your relationship. Build your future. If your saying that you dated, married and had kids on the rebound. What like 3 minutes you did all that.
    I have to believe that you thought a little bit more about it than that.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:28 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I dont think the poster was saying she did it all in 3 min. I think she was saying that she fell inlove after the highschool sweet heart, married had a relationship. Look people make mistakes... You learn from them. Is your hubby now abusive pyshically or verbaly? IWe dont know this relationship at all so who are we to judge anyone, think we all might question our actions some time in our lives. Not everyone finds there perfect husband the first go around. It is ok to second guess yourself but make sure you think about the big pictuer before taking actions. My thoughts are with you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Nov. 22, 2008