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Do you think as a mom the worse thing that could be told to you .

would be you werent a Good mom by your own child. or you were a step mom. and the child grew up and said. You were fake you and you were selfish. this has happend to me and i feel i need to go to counseling

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (9)
  • Nah not the worst. My kids are young adults and I have one who has said it to me in anger and then later apologized. I know when someone is young they sometimes say things to us just to hurt us.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:46 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Being young, you sometimes for the kill shot and don't think about what you're saying, your intent is just to hurt.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 3:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I don't take any of it personally. It's their perception and I just validate their feelings. I did the best I could as a mom and a step mom. If I didn't live up to their standards then that's their problem. I'm not perfect and never claimed to be. I'm just me. They can take it or leave it. It gives them a chance to do better as parents if they think I was bad but turns out as parents now they are learning how hard it is to be a parent and maybe I wasn't so bad after all.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:59 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • My kids are all adults, and all I have ever heard from them is praise, even as kids and even when they were mad at me.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:30 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • All Moms try to be the best mom in this moment we are queens...
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 7:17 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • honestly it sounds like the "child" has issues not you......unless you where negletful (not housing , feeding, educating and beating that "child") then you did the what any mother would do and raised your child to the best of your ability and your child needs to get over themselves
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:35 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • i am mother 5 adult kids two on their own and three live with me
    yes they say things that hurt us but i have said things to them
    we all forget to think before we speak ,you need to talk things through before it get any bigger
    tell them how you feel and how it has hurt you they need to know that you have feelings
    they forget we can be crush with words
    but we can as mom we are not a strong as we look we can not shake it off like when they where little
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 12:46 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Being a mom is the hardest thing in the world. Don't beat yourself up. And whatever was said was said in anger. Let the moment pass for a while. He probably didn't mean it. But if you feel counseling would help, then maybe it's a good idea. Those moments can be very painful and traumatic. Hugs.

    TwilightMack

    Answer by TwilightMack at 9:25 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • You are not clear whether this was said by your bio child or a step child. That would make a difference to me. My bios would never say it to as adults. If I feel from a conversation that they are hurting about something I did in the past or the way I parented, I would apologize and then tell my reasoning about why I did what I did at the time and if I would change it now that I have hindsight. They respond well to this. If my stepchild said this kind of thing, I would just shake my head and walk away because explaining things to him or trying to get him to walk in my shoes is a complete waste of time. So for me, it would make a difference if it were my bios or my step.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 2:58 PM on Mar. 28, 2011

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