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Does cheating on your spouse....

...automatically make you a bad parent? Even if the kids are none the wiser and you and your spouse work things out/talk about it in private?

My mother-in-law seems to think that because I have had an indiscration(sp?) that I am a bad mom. What is you opinion?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I am not sure. Do the two have any thing to do with each other?

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:19 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • No, that's a totally different part of your life. As long as your not fighting in front of your children and what not.

    Answer by sarapurser at 12:29 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Nope. It doesnt make you a bad mother but I would really encourage you to just be honest with your future partner. I am not an advocate of cheating in any circumstance. Just stand up and say "I cant be with you anymore" In the long run it is much less messy and hurtful than discovering your partner was unfaithful. But it has nothing to do with how you are as a parent to your child. If your kids find out make sure to talk with them about how important it is to be faithful and that mommy made a mistake

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 12:31 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • IDK because to me, wedding vows are sacred and if you feel like you need or want to cheat, then maybe it's time to leave. As far as parenting, I don't think it makes you a bad parent because they're separate issues. JMO


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • While they may not be directly related, I look at it this way: is it setting a good example for you child? If not, then it's probably not something a parent should be doing!

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 12:51 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Why is that any of your MIL business? How did she find out that info? I mean, did your husband tell her, because if he ran home and told mommy... I can see why you had an, Ahem, indiscretion.

    I think if your children really are completely in the dark about it, they were not in danger, or neglected in any way while this was happening then you are not a bad mother.

    Answer by OOHPFG at 1:03 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I dont think so. I think. Haha. First off, look at the source, If you cheated on HER son, shes a tad biased. Shes gonna say that cows fly out of your butt cause she could say anything it would take to hurt you. My MIL said I was a bad mother cause I didnt take my kid to the doctor cause he was teething >.< Anyway, I don't feel as the two have anything to do with one another (unless you are like my mom who made her relationships more important than me or my brother) but however, I do agree about the setting example thing that Katie said. It is true when your kids are older and you say dont do something they are going to question you. We all know that.

    Plus, her opinion should not matter. Your SOs should cause at the end of the day he is the one the matters. Or not

    Answer by mrsmommy2007 at 1:16 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • No, this does not mean you are a bad parent. People have marital problem of all sorts, infidelity included. Just protect the kids from any drama between you and your husband as much as humanly possible, which it sounds like you are doing.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:26 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • It does not have anything to do with your ability to parent unless you are ignoring kids, taking time away from them or leaving them unattended. My question is how does MIL KNOW?

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:35 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Some things should be kept private and this is one of them. Like the others asked, How does his Mama know what happened?

    Answer by Kat122 at 6:37 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

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