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I have 3 stepchildren and a newborn:), the twins just turned 13 today. I need to have "the talk" with my stepdaughter,what should I discuss?How should I approach this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • I would see what they know first then elaborate and tell them what you know.
    Jamielynn7

    Answer by Jamielynn7 at 12:31 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I have 3 girls, 15, 17 and 21....I have told them up front that boys are players and will tell you exactly what you want to hear and do all the right things to make you happy then they tell you..you owe them because they have been so good to you....I told them and still tell them the right boy will seek you out as a person first...not seek out sex first....if you have sex too soon the guy will dump you and drag your name threw the mud!
    Don't be afraid to be frank and real!!....
    My 15 yr old and my 21 yr old are still virgins and my 17 yr went against my advice and now regrets it!....also don't be afraid to tell her that just because sex is everywhere and it sounds like fun...It's not fun the first few times...and sex isn't about having fun..it's a celebration of love between to people..it's your body respect it...
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:46 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Thanks ladies I really hope to be frank with my stepdaughter, we have a great relationship. I'm concerned because I do notice her seeking male attention (boys her age mostly), I just want her to be able to respect herself,it's a scary world out there!
    GHENNIVA

    Answer by GHENNIVA at 12:55 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • i would ask what she knows, and explain if those things are the right thing or the wrong thing. the fact that you and her have a frank relationship should help with openess.
    Tarable525

    Answer by Tarable525 at 10:22 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • If you teach her to respect herself (and her body), help her keep her self esteem high then that's more than half of what's required to help young ladies make good decisions. Most who get pregnant or used sexually by boys are those who are looking for love bc they can't find it at home or don't feel valued at home. Many think being wanted by boys makes them valuable. I'd also remind her of the consequences of having sex early (hpv, aids, pregnancy, etc) Life has so much to offer her. Try to explain to her not to settle for less than all she can experience in life (school, traveling, fun). There will always be guys and sex so that part can wait!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:16 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Definitely talk to her about how to handle awkward social situations and teach her how to say "no" - by giving her the vocabulary to use. Think of a few phrases she can use to get out of weird or high-pressure situations so she knows exactly how to handle it. Sometimes I look back and think - if I had known exactly what I was supposed to say other than "no" I might not have done some of the things I regret today. Some kids need you to tell them what to do, and if you're not there to tell her, then she needs to have that information ready to use, and she needs to be confident enough to use it, too - the right thing to say with a child too timid to say it is just as bad as not knowing what to say. Have her role play with you - even if she gets embarrassed - to make sure she knows exactly what to say and sounds confident in her responses.
    texassahm

    Answer by texassahm at 9:13 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

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