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2 Bumps

She is dead...what to do with the love letters in her desk? They are not from her husband O.o

I read this today in an advice column. I am wondering what you think she should do...

"I was given the job of cleaning out the office of a colleague who died suddenly and unexpectedly. I came across very affectionate letters from a man who was not her husband. I can't bring this up to other co-workers, and I can't send them to her husband like the other notes and cards I've found. I think I should shred them, but I can't bring myself to do it. I keep imagining this man out there mourning in secret because she's gone. I'm tempted to mail them all to him, but not knowing who might intercept them on his end stops me. They're in a pile on my desk now and I don't know what to do."

I will post the columnist's reply after I pick my son up from school.

Answer Question

Asked by SleepingBeautee at 4:44 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 45 (192,108 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Interesting! maybe send a letter from the company saying he has an unpaid bill. When he calls in she could tell him about the letters. If he doesnt call then she could shred the letters after several months.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:53 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Of course if a woman calls about the note then she would have to say it was a mistake..they must've had the wrong name/address in the computer.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:54 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • No good can come from the letters. She should detroy them.

    Answer by Syphon at 4:55 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Wow, that's tough. Chances are the man knew she was married. I would shred them. Why upset or start any problems. Maybe he is married, too. Could cause problems with his wife. I wouldn't want to be the cause of any other problems, but that is just my opinion.

    Answer by amber1330 at 4:57 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Why would she have read them? Wouldn't they have just gathered up the stuff that obviously isn't work related and put in a box for the family to do what they wish with everything?

    Answer by CABlonde at 5:01 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I would try to contact him by letter or phone privately asking him to contact me regarding an employee of wherever. Then I would ask if he wants them, let him know that she kept them, and if he didn't know, that he had passed. On the other hand, that would make me in someone's dirty laundry. Idk. That is a toughie!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 5:02 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Depends on the address on the letters? If it is in your city/Town or close by. Maybe go see if you can find the guy. If the address is to far away. Shred them.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:10 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Wow, that is a tough one.  I would try to contact the other man first and ask him if he wants them.


    Answer by beeky at 6:45 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • What did the columnist say to do?

    Answer by ria7 at 9:10 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Here is the answer.... sorry it took so long to post it.


    "A: Let this be a warning to anyone with a secret stash of letters in the desk that would change everyone's understanding of you if you suddenly were gone. If you are able to track the man down at his place of work, give him a call and explain that you'd be happy to return the letters to him or that you will dispose of them if he prefer. Reassure him that no one else will know what you found. Your late colleague is very lucky this sad task fell to you."

    Comment by SleepingBeautee (original poster) at 2:55 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

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