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I feel bad..

Ok, I have a pretty decent job, and with my paycheck alone I can pay our monthly bills, but have very little left over. DH's paycheck typically goes toward his student loans, about $100/month into our savings/emergency fund, and he puts money into DD's account (for a car, school, wedding etc. when she gets older). We are now expecting a second child and instead of putting money into DD's account, we are setting aside that extra money for baby stuff, DD's birthday and Christmas (which will all be needed around the same time, right after the baby is born, and while I am not working).

I know it sounds stupid, but I almost feel like we are taking away from DD by keeping this money for the new baby. Once I get back to work we plan on putting the same amount of money into each of the kids' accounts, less than we do now for DD, but money to both of them either way. I feel bad that DD is going to miss an entire year of money into her account because we are expecting a second child. I can't just not buy baby stuff, though. And I would feel even worse if DD didn't get anything for birthday/Christmas. And we can't afford to put money into both an account for DD and for baby/birthday/Christmas. :-(

What would you do? Would you feel bad about it, or am I overreacting?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • First of all it sounds like you are managing your money really well and I wish I was able to do that! Don't feel bad, there are alot of families who can't even afford to save for things like that. I think when a new baby is expected you start feeling bad for the other child because you think of what's being taken away from them. You are used to only thinking of that child and it's a hard transition, but don't feel bad, you aren't doing anything wrong.

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 6:30 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I understand why you feel bad but your not doing anything bad.

    Answer by mommato2boys79 at 6:31 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I think you are lucky to be able to save anything at all. We won't be in the position to do that for a few years.

    Answer by at 6:32 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Shoot! Seems like ur doing a pretty awesome job already! I have three boys and im expecting a baby girl and neither of my children have a saving account with a penny to their name! Be happy u started doing something already cuz some of us cant even afford to do that! :)

    Answer by djimenezlove85 at 6:39 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I'm so jealous!!! I wish we were as financially responsible as you are lol....we're doing okay but we could definatly be doing better....Don't feel bad your doing an awesome job!

    Answer by Lucky209 at 7:03 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I would feel the same way you do.
    Maybe you should find some way to sneak a few extra bucks into DD's account a month. Even if it's five dollars. That way you'll still be contributing.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:04 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • The baby has to have the same opportunities as your dd. It's only right to put aside for her as well since she'll be a part of the family. At some point you'd have to make this choice. Don't feel bad, this is what happens when you expand your family. And this baby will probably be so stinkin' cute, you'll be happy you made the choice that you did. DD will be okay!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:28 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • well to make yourself feel a little better, I would just start putting change you find in a piggy bank for DD, it adds up quickly! : )

    Answer by My2boys0523 at 8:26 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • I dont think you have anything to feel bad about. I have 3 children with no savings. My husband and I both work to barely pay our bills (let alone have leftover for anything else). Sounds like you are doing well:)

    Answer by cl1998 at 8:56 PM on Mar. 7, 2011