Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

SO FRUSTRATED WITH MY 18 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER!!!

she throws huge fits and is SO moody, she goes from angel to wretch within seconds. I'm scared she has some wierd mood disorder but i have no real reason to think so. She is very smart and is treated very well and im a sahm so i'm with her always. lately she will not eat hardly anything... i have to pin her down to feed her and might get her to take one bite. she loves all the food we give her so i dont get it. Also, she wants what she wants and thats it. all she wants is crap food and crackers and im getting really worrie. I feel like she starving and it makes me feel like i'm failing at being a mother... Grr... I love her to death but lately she has got me SO stressed. Any Help or suggestions??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • First, did you think the "terrible twos" started at age 2? Nope. They start sometime in the 2nd year of life - which she is half way through.
    Second - don't give in to her demands. It will NOT kill her to go hungry. Offer her healthy foods and snacks and let her decide to eat or not. If you turn it into a war, you will LOSE. As you've found, unless you are willing to hold her down, force her mouth open, force the food down her throat, you can NOT make her eat. So don't try. Eat healthy things in front of her and let her decide to join you or be hungry
    - cont -
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:45 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • my 3 year old is like that now. and dont worry your not teh only one people look at me bad like all i feed her is junk food, but i dont and its embaressing. i still have not found wat helps ive tried everything.
    vadasmom

    Answer by vadasmom at 1:16 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • let her eat what she wants with one exception she has to have three bites of each of the foods placed on her plate. She will eat when she is hungry. Your not a bad mom and I know how you feel. Sometimes as sahm's we feel like we have to do it all perfect because we have no other "obligations" its not true. She has discovered she has her own personality adn she wants to see what she can do with it. Let her experiment with her individuality as long as she is not breaking rules and be consistant in discipline and TRY to get a break soon. You deserve it!
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 1:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • It's the terrible twos, they actually can start as young as 14mo. Totally normal, it's not your fault. It is also normal for them to refuse to eat. My son I swear only ate pb&j for a month. I talked to the doc about it and he said it was ok as long as he ate. Even if she doesnt want the food make a plate anyway, have sit with you while you eat (even if she doesnt) to model for her.
    When she is throwing a fit, ignore her. I KNOW how hard that is but it is necessary. When she realizes that she does not get any attention when she is doing this she will realize it. Giving her attention for it feeds her little fire, oh and dont give in either.
    As soon as she is done throwing the fit go to her and ask her what she needs.
    I did these during the terrible twos as well as the 3 and it works, it takes time but in the long run well worth it.
    perksmom

    Answer by perksmom at 1:41 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • My little guy has been doing the same thing and I have felt exactly the same way. I like what perksmom had to say. I am still suffering thru all of the foods he likes that he won't even go near and his attitudes are getting worse. I know the difference in most of his temper tantrums and act accordingly but he has this one that happens right after his nap sometimes and he nearly comes undone. I tried to ignore it one time and he nearly went hoarse. Never again, but I don't want to just figure everything out for him. Where is that darn manual, anyway??? I'm also a SAHM and wonder sometimes where I went wrong!! But just remember, it only gets worse LOL Just kidding, but do remember that if you stick to your boundaries and routines and keep her hydrated :) it will eventually come to some sort of a peaceful ending. I mean look at all those 3 and 4 yr olds that are still alive!!! Oh and their moms, too!!
    ethan0530

    Answer by ethan0530 at 2:15 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • There are 2 ways I handle tantrums. 1) ignore it 2) I focus tons of attention on the the tantrum by saying, oh- you can do better than that. I've heard you scream and stamp you feet harder than that.
    As for the food- I wouldn't force feed her. For my DS, when he went through that stage, I just put out a small plate of healthy food for him. Some whole grain crackers, cheese and some sort of fruit, grapes worked best. And I'd just let him graze. Children won't let themselves starve. But you can relieve stress by just letting her graze.
    You're doing fine, momma. The terrible 2's can be frustrating, but your mindset can make it 10 times worse.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 2:20 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I agree with perksmom. I also wouldn't give her junk food just so she eats. That will only satisfy her hunger so she won't want to eat the good stuff. If you are being a bad mom, we all are. I think every child goes through a stage like this, but thankfully, they pass!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Third...
    Pick a "calm down / time out" spot. This can be an empty corner, the bottom step on the stairs, the middle of the kitchen floor, anywhere boring with no toys.
    When she throws a fit, take her there and leave her. Do not try to talk her out of the fit. Do not try to reason with her or bribe her. Just leave her.
    Except for hauling her back to her spot if she leaves and making sure she doesn't hurt herself, ignore her. Stay nearby and pretend to read a book or write a shopping list.
    Once she is fully calm, pick her up and thank her for calming down. Tell her you know she was angry when you told her she couldn't have any candy. Tell her that candy isn't good for her. Ask her to help you find a good snack to eat instead.
    If you need to put her in timeout as a punishment (she just won't stop trying to climb the Christmas tree), time out starts AFTER she is calm and lasts for 1 minute per year of age.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:02 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

Next question in Toddlers (1-2)
Does this exist?

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
boys name help