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3 Bumps

She needs to do more?

My ss is twelve years old. When he was eight his mom moved far. She told my son she would call him. She don't call ever. His birthday came and my son was very mad that his mom didn't call him. Me and my dh do everything for him, all I want her to do is be there when he needs her. I know she can't really be here, but he's on fb so am I and she makes no effert to talk to him. Me and her have never got along, so how can I tell her she needs to be more of a mom to her/my son before it's too late..... ss told me the other day that when he grows up his real mom will never know his wife or kids. (WAY IN THE FUTURE)

 
Kimberly71682

Asked by Kimberly71682 at 8:06 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,993 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You could try having the dad speak to her, explain to her that her son really misses her and has a void in his life. They could try to set something up where they plan to talk on Sundays or something like that. But you might just be setting your ss up for more heart break if she doesn't respond or if she calls for two weeks in a row and then doesn't call for a month. If this is how she is she might never change, or change when it's too late and the damage has been done to her relationship with her son. I think what you can do is be there for him as a mother would, love him and support him, never bash his mother but listen to his hurt and frustration and remind him over and over that this is not because of him, that his mother loves him she just doesn't know how to be a better mother, and that you are there for him for anything he needs that you can give. Good luck, I know your heart must break for him.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • You dont. You tell your dh to do it.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:21 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • You don't. You can NOT force someone to be a parent that doesn't want to be one. Just give your ss the love and attention that he deserves. He is seeing that she can't be a parent and that it too bad.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:35 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • So Sorry for your son. You don't have to say anything negative about his mom he will form his own opinion about her and with a comment like that I'm sure he already has. Your doing a good job by sticking by him. He'll appreciate you and dh as he grows older.
    KoolMom617

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 1:27 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • That is really sad (for him to say something like that)...she moved far for a reason..
    JazzyJes

    Answer by JazzyJes at 1:17 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • You could tell her but it sounds like she doesn't care
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:06 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • a friend of mine just went thru something very similar
    she said something instead of her dh
    it is now a huge ugly custody battle
    her ss is stuck in the middle
    let dh say something
    if you say it
    a huge fight will start
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Things are alot differnt in our situation, couse she has acted like she didn't want to be a mom to my son since he was two. I started taking care of him at age three. She has very little rights to him already. She abandaned him three years ago, and I am his full time mom, I'm the only one that he calls mom, but I know it hurts him that she is so immuture.
    Kimberly71682

    Comment by Kimberly71682 (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Mar. 10, 2011