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Should I back off?

found someone (male) on fb I went to school with 20 + years ago. we never hung out in school nor out of school, never dated, never were friends in school. wants to be friends on facebook. says he's not a homewrecker, nor had no other intentions other than only offering a friendship. he knows i'm happily married with 2 kids. he is divorced with 2 kids of his own. If i continued only a pen pal type friendship with him, would it be betraying my husband? he trusts me fully and I trust him fully. I don't want to do something stupid that'll ruin my stable marriage. what would you do? I have been married 14 years in may. my husband asked who he was and i was honest with him.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Mar. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • if your husband is ok with it, then i wouldn't see a problem, unless you think it might lead somewhere. it is possible to talk to someone on facebook without it becoming more than friendship. maybe have your husband read all the things you and he write, so nothing will be hidden. and if you or your husband gets upset with things being said, stop talking to the new friend.

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 12:05 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • If you are making informal conversations about family and friends, there is nothing wrong with it. But if you're doing it as a diversion or escape to a fantasy or whatnot move on. You do not have the time for that bs filling up your mind and your soul while you have two kids and a husband.

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 12:05 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • That is strange. I would leave it alone.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 12:06 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Well, I don't think it is betraying your husband if you are open and honest with your husband and if he doesn't have any concerns. I think another tell tale sign of trouble is if you are writing or receiving anything that you wouldn't be ok with your husband reading. But, at the end of the day, this is someone you were never even friends with to begin with so it does make me wonder why he suddenly wants to be friends. Maybe it is harmless but if you do become pen pals of some sort just keep your eyes open for anything out of the ordinary or any steps down the wrong path and be prepared to abandon things BEFORE it leads to any sort of temptation. Nothing is worth risking your marriage and family.

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:06 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • no u should not back off. i see no problem as long as u trust your self,and respect your husband.

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:07 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I guess it depends on if your husband has a problem with it or personally I would just leave it alone so there isnt any confusion, temptation or anything else...but if your hubby honestly doesnt mind and your confidant that it will never turn into anything other than friendship then I guess it's okay

    Answer by Lucky209 at 12:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • you want a penpal make it a female

    Answer by letstalk747 at 12:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Friends are a good thing.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • i know this guy is single, lonel, depressed because of divorce. just needs company.he's my age. needs companionships just to talk with. I would never meet up with him personally. no guys would ever come between my husband and I. I'd make sure of it. i have no problems blocking people if i need to.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:19 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • i do have a close female pen pal.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:21 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

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