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2 Bumps

How do i get my boyfriend and 6 yr old to get along

my boyfriend has been a part of our life for 3 years and we have a 3month old together but my 6yr old is mad at me bc  he is there for them and her father has never been apart of her life  and thinks he dont care about her but she gets mad. i think it hurts her so she pushes us away and tells me its my fault that her father is not in her life. but my boyfriend has tried to be a father to her its just she wont let him.

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Asked by Kattie825 at 12:27 AM on Mar. 8, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (85 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • As much as it may seem to hurt he just needs to keep doing what he as been doing. She will eventually realize that this man is trying to do what is right for her.

    Answer by coala at 12:32 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • That's so sad. I agree, your boyfriend needs to hang in there and show her he's gonna be there for her. It's TOTALLY NATURAL for a child who has abandonment issues to not trust someone who's trying to be there for her. Think about it this way: she learned that the man who should have ALWAYS been there for her wasn't, and she probably feels like it's because there's something wrong with her. Here comes another man promising to be there for her, and I bet she subconsciously is afraid that if she trusts him, he'll abandon her, too. So she's testing him. She's going to test him hard and make sure he's not going to abandon her.

    I struggle with this a little. My dad died when I was 8, and it's been hard for me to trust my DH. I really need him to PROVE himself. Maybe if your BF understands this, he'll be able to be more supportive and not take it personally. Good luck!

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:47 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Maybe he needs to ask her to spend a day at the park or somewhere fun together, just him and her. She doesn't know what a father is for her personally. Maybe one on one time is a good start.

    Answer by TwilightMack at 8:35 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • He just needs to keep hanging in there. She'll come around eventually.

    Answer by slw123 at 10:08 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • She is not trusting him, because her fater left her, so she thinks he will do the same. Just have patience. Trust takes time.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 3:20 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • thank u all for the postive out look i really hope it works i love them both with all my heart i hope that she can see that hes in it for the long run and hes not like her real father

    Comment by Kattie825 (original poster) at 3:31 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • You can't force it. Just keep on with what you're doing. She may need some counseling because of abandonment issues about her bio father.

    Answer by elasmimi at 8:44 AM on Mar. 21, 2011

  • Cant force it. Just let it happen.

    Answer by chiquis at 3:47 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

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