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Both of us are married to other people....

i have been dating a guy for 8 months and just recently (2 weeks) found out that he is married. Wife doesn't care as long as she can't confirm anything. BF has asked me to marry him in a year after divorce becomes final for both of us. We are where we are at because of economics right now. DH has his own GF so he's not worried about me. We are getting a divorce so that is not the issue. He says that wife is non-receptive in the bedroom so he found me. Our relationship started out to be just sex and has moved alot further than either of us thought it would. We have so much in common that we complete each others sentences and know how the other is feeling at any given time. What would you do if you were in this situation? i have NEVER had a man that treats me as good as he does and accepts me for me. i'm just scared that if i cool it with this guy that I'm losing the best thing that ever happened

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • Once a cheater.....always a cheater. Remember that as you pursue a *relationship* with this individual.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Oh yeah I can see your marriage lasting really long to the new guy as well.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • OP here......both of us have been married to same people for over 20 years each.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I say go for it!! Sounds like both of your marriages are falling apart. So you found someone toward the end of it all. If you love him and he trully loves you, don't question it....just go with it!!
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 10:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • If he cheats with you he will cheat on you. It never xeases to amaze me how many women fall for this. He will cheat on you i f he cheated on his current wife. I speak from exp. My ex was cheating for two years before I found out and had proof. The minute I found out I threw him out. He told his gf all sorts of stories like I didnt care, we didnt have anything in common blah blah. Shes still completely into his lies and bull. In reality he had been posting in a group bragging about his conquests outside of marriage and talking trash about this women. He said he would never leave me and how she was snowed and dumb. So be careful. The last laugh might be on you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Well if he cheated on his wife for whatever reason then what makes you think he wont cheat on you? I understand that you "love" him but maybe you should stop and think about what type of relationship you want. I assume you have kids maybe you should think about what would make them happy and not just about the instant gratification side of it. I think if you do marry him you better both get some counseling and get it for your kids to. I dont think a marriage built on lies is going to last to long at all.
    lovemybabys1106

    Answer by lovemybabys1106 at 10:18 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • question is why didnt he tell you up front about the wife? red flag
    trentntats

    Answer by trentntats at 10:27 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I have seen this way to many times and it always ends up the man not leaving his wife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • While the once a cheater always a cheater is usually true - that is not always the case.

    My step dad was married when he and my mom started dating. He had been married for about 15 years. He ended up divorcing wife 1 and marrying my mom - they were together for about 20 years then they divorced (no cheating involved) and now he his married to wife number 1 again.

    There really is no way to predict what will happen - no matter what their previous behavior was. Some people can change. You have to decide if you can live with whatever may happen. Keep your mind open to the fact that he might cheat. Then again he might now.
    lanckn

    Answer by lanckn at 10:30 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • You all are saying that if he cheats on his wife he will cheat on her....WTF she cheated on her husband as will... Stop always blaming the man in these situations. Sometimes us women are a bit sleazy!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

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