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Would You Let Him Stay?

Recently my boyfriend told me what he really thought about me and our relationship. He told me that he was primarily here for our daughter and that he wasn't really attracted to me anymore. He is unsure if he wants to be in a commited relationship. When I told him that he could leave and that our relationship was over, he decided that he wanted to stay because he loved me. He says that he will change and that me and our daughter are all that he has. My question is that if we are all that he really has why would he throw it all away with his cruel honesty. The only reason why I am even considering let him stay is because of finacnes. We recently signed a year lease and I can't leave. I need his income to make ends meet. But I can't stand looking at him right now and I can't see us being anything other than parents to our daughter. Would you let him stay past getting yourself financially independent?

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Charlyesmama

Asked by Charlyesmama at 11:53 PM on Jul. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • yes, he just told you how he really feels about you. if he's not attracted to you and was only staying cuz of your daughter then he doesn't really love you. he may love you cuz your the mother of his child but he doesn't really love you. and i believe if you let him stay, even if you need him financially, you'll be miserable and regret it in the end. and in life not suppose to regret the path you choose to take. think bout it
    MommaSyrup07

    Answer by MommaSyrup07 at 11:59 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Life is too short to be anything but happy. You know how he feels, when you told him to go he changed his tune? Come on! dump the Zero, get yourself a Hero.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:07 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I AM WONDERING IF MAYBE HE SAID ALL OF THOSE THINGS TO GET A REACTION FROM YOU.....HE OBVIOUSLY GOT THE ANSWER HE WAS HOPING FOR.THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT AND HE HAS A BUNCH OF MAKING UP FOR HIS DUMBNESS. I HOPE ALL WORKS OUT.....MAYBE SOME SORT OF CONSULING WOULD HELP.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • let me ask you a question. don't get pissed. did you change physically over the time and not get back to where you were yet? i had a cousin whose husband told her he was not attracted to her anymore becaue she had packed on like 70 lbs when she was pregnant and didn't lose it. men are visual creatures. if they don't liek the way you look, htey aren't goign to be attracted to you. having said that, if you don't even want to look at him, yeah, get financially stable and make him go. no use in being alone and homeless. jmo.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:35 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Have you ever said something that you thought was truth and once out of your mouth you questioned its validity? (Did I really mean that?) Let's say he was uncertain about your relationship and just expressed himself poorly. It will take you some time to get on your feet financially. Take this time as an opportunity to see if the relationship has a solid foundation and can be built on or if you truly need to go your separate ways. Sometimes we say or do things to get our partner's attention so they focus on the relationship. maybe that is what he did. If you have to be with him for a while for financial reasons then see what you really have together. If there is nothing, then when you can stand on your own then cut him loose.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:36 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • You know what I would do....I would tell him that if he wants to make it work that you want to go to counseling. You guys need to have counseling....it will be really hard to make things work on your own after him saying something like that to you. That would just hurt me to the core. Good luck, sweety...that is really a tough situation to be in. Consider the counseling though, you could really benefit from it!
    HomeBoundMama

    Answer by HomeBoundMama at 2:05 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • nobody should be together just 4 the kids...u have to do whats right for u to be a happier helthier mom to ur kids.stayin with somebody just for the kids isnt hel;pin the kids u already admitted u cant even look at him u think ur daughter dont see the situation u and ur husband is inm?kids arent stupid they feel what u both are feelin i say move out stay with family or something focus on u and ur daughter and let him focus on himself and where his mind is at anbd what he really wnats in life.sometimes u cant look at finances.that makes things worse let him stay their and u go to familys...he probably knows u depned on him to much finacially show him u could be the one holdin everything afloat to.
    ShYmAmA08

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 8:43 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • YES, sometimes us mothers have to make hard choices, and this is one of them. maybe you can use this year to save a couple of dollers so you and your baby can start new. I understand how you feel because I am in the very same situation. just trust in yourself and do what you have to do. I know you are a strong woman, things may get a little rough but thats what we are here for. good luck and message me if you need to talk.
    AuntieVetta

    Answer by AuntieVetta at 1:11 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

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