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Shouldn't we be engaged?

I'm a mom of 2 and I met this wonderful man 2 years ago and we talk about future plans including marriage and more kids, but we are not engaged. I feel like if I continue this relationship, I will be with him for years and years and we will never be married. I am 33 going on 34 and I feel like time is going so fast that I may even get too old to have more children. Even though I don't want to pressure him but at the same time, I don't want to waste my life with someone who wont marry me and miss an opportunity with someone who does. I'm not asking to go get married tommorrow, but it would be nice to be engaged so I could know for sure that he wants to move forward. He says he does, but where's my ring?
Should I walk away and not come back until he proposes?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You need to talk to him. Let him know how you are feeling and let him know that you do want to be with him. that all you are asking for is a ring so that you know marriage is in your future... sometimes that is all that it takes is for you to tell him that you want a serious commitment, and not just words. my sil, who has been with her b/f for almost 6 years just got engaged!!

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:21 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • i know how you feel my bf and i have been together almost 2 years and we have one child together. and he says he wants 2 marry me but i asked him when he was gonna get me a ring so i would know he wants us 2 have a commitment but he still hasn't. i guess i would wait awhile then mention it 2 him if it does come up soon. or maybe he will for christmas never know!!

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • be upfront with him. ask him, do you want to marry me? yes, when? i want marriage and i dont want to sit around and waste my time so when do you plan on proposing? just explain it all

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • same boat ive been with mmy SO for 4 years and have a 1 1/2 year old ds i have a ring and all but everytime i ask when we are gonna get married its always "when we have more money" i wouldnt care if we wnt to the court house i just want to stop beingng someone out of "wedlock" and finally get married...hang in there i am lol just a matter of time

    Answer by brandnew744 at 11:27 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I am big on timelines. Men can identify with them. Just ask him where he sees you two in two years, in five years, etc. That puts control in his court and he won't feel like you are pressuring him

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:56 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I wonder if instead of asking for a ring you can ask when is the date? Set a date in the not too distant future, so that it will dawn on him that this is for real. If it is too far ahead then he may feel that he has plenty of time to back out. Say... next month. If he isn't ready to commit by setting a date, then he isn't as involved as you are.

    Answer by Bmat at 11:59 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I kinda felt the same. My DH and i always talked about it. We had 1 child and still wasnt married. It was really hard for me too. I finally just said hey it would be nice to have my childs last name. I want to be the same as you two. He didnt say much but I think it made him think about it. We were together years before our marriage. But before our daughter was 1 he asked me and the wedding was that summer 3 weeks bfore she turned 1.

    Men, as much as they love you, I think get freaked out by the whole commitment and yes they get concerned about financial things including a ring , wedding and life after. So talk to him and dont be pushy. You dont want him reacting in a bad way. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • My husband dragged his feet about marriage too. I would explain to him the reasons marriage is important to you. Marriage gives a couple important rights and protections that unmarried couples don't have, like access to health benefits if you were to become pregnant, having a say in medical care if he (or you) were to be hospitalized, financial protection for the other spouse and children if there were a fatal accident of some kind. Nobody likes to think about these things, but I'm sure that he would want you to be protected. Maybe it just hasn't occured to him how important that marriage certificate can be in certain situations.

    Answer by runawaybunny at 2:10 PM on Nov. 22, 2008