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My brother has a question for you sahms out there

he is a SAHD and feels very left out of all the traditional thing sah-parents do for fun in the neighborhood. He's not into volunteering at the schools, but would like to know what he can do. His kids (my nephews) are 6, 9, 12. The 12yo has severe Autism and is homeschooled. He's a good dad, gave up his job for his boys. My SIL works hard all day and he does the Mr Mom thing.

Anyways he's excessively bored and the moms in his neighborhood are openly disinterested in associating with a dad which also affects the kids since daddy gets the brush off, so do the kids (indirectly). He literally went to a playground with his sons last week, it was full of kids and about 4 moms there. Within 10-15 minutes the families one by one had all left. The kids even noticed and asked "What happened? Why'd they all leave?" To which he had no answer. Seems to happen a lot in his area.

I'll relay any advice to him. Thanks for the help.

 
Zoeyis

Asked by Zoeyis at 11:13 AM on Mar. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • How RUDE those women were!

    There are homeschool groups in most communities. They're designed to provide socialization for the kids. He should find one.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:15 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Oh bless him that is awful :o((
    No ideas but send him my best wishes and sympathy!
    Twinminator

    Answer by Twinminator at 11:15 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Ask him to start his own play group invite both moms and dads and see what happens.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:17 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • idk what to tell him sounds like a neighborhood problem? We have a couple sahd at our school and they are as involved in things as we are. Alot of them actually do more of the little league coaching or helping then us moms do because we arent exactly coach material LOL. Has he considered calling a local optimist club and seeing what programs are available for the boys? You dont even have to volunteer at them. They never turn away anyone and welcome everyone. I have met alot of people through the optimist club.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:17 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • well some people are just like that. it may have to do with him being a sahd, it may have to do with the 12yo with autism....i don't know. i have been in lots of situations where i have been shunned by other mothers for one reason or another. just like i tell my children.....not everyone is obligated to be your friend. it's not a big deal, you will eventually find someone to be your friend. i go to lots of things where there are other parents, like story time at the library, my kids do soccer lessons that we signed up for through the city or boys and girls club,   i have even made some acquaintances from going to chic fil a lol. my advice to him is don't take it personally and don't give up.

    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 11:18 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I live in an area where there are no kids my son's age and I have been faced with the problem of what to do. I focus on what I can do with my son, he is only two so the options your brother has is very much increased because the children are older. He can try to do science experiments with the kids, he already knows how to teach :) I have been teaching myself how to cook, he can have his kids learn how to make something new together. Have a reading time, go play at the park as a family and don't worry about who is there or not. Good luck.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 11:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I'm so sorry. There are quite a few sahd's in my area. they kinda hang out together, but iwe all get along just fine. I've become freinds with one dad that joined our PTA (he's the ONLY male, that's sad), and i've told him i think he can offer ideas, opinions, and contributions from not only a parents point of view, but also a males, and a dad's. Too bad those mom's can't see this. They are missing out on possibly a good freind, and the opportunity to show their kids that traditional gender roles have changed for the better. I would offer that maybe he could start with a small play group and start to get to know one or two moms? It can be difficult and intimidating to try to join into a 'group', so maybe try befreinding one nice mom?
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 11:22 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Im not sure what to tell him but i do feel for him. That is not right what those women are doing. I hope things get better goog luck to him. Hope some of these other ladies have some good ideas for ya.
    michelle.coppes

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 11:26 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Perhaps next time he should walk up to the ladies and introduce himself and the kids....let them see that he isn't some monster but a mr. mom. It was extremely rude of them, but in this day and age you never know, so you can't hold it against them. But i'm sure if he introduces himself ladies in the neighborhood will start to warm up to him!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 11:30 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Rude and sad, sorry for his trouble. I would say my best advice is this...even though he is not into the room mother thing at school...this would be an excelent way for him to establish himself in the social circle of mothers of children his kids go to school with. He can then gain their trust, get to know them and they him...then perhaps he won't "clear" the local playground merely by showing up. I wish him all the best.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:31 AM on Mar. 8, 2011

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