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In desperate need of some advice

So here's the deal. I've been friends with this guy for about 5 years. There's always been something more between us, we've both felt it. But up until recently we've kept the relationship strictly friends. Now, things are starting to progress. The issue is, he is just starting to go through a divorce with a girl that I went to high school with. And he has 2 kids with her. I'm 19 years old and have no children. Should I proceed with the relationship? Just how messy can this get?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • very messy , how mature are you ?
    what is his wife like /
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 2:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Sounds like he wants the security of someone there when he leaves her which means rebound person. Do you really want to be his rebound woman? It will get messy and she'll swear you broke up her family. So if it were me I'd steer clear of him at least until after the divorce and things have settled down.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I do not think it is the best idea. It would be a lot of drama. And if the relationship gets serious could you manage to take care of his kids.
    Hatsumomo

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 2:30 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • you should proably step back til divorce is final
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Proceed with the relationship if and when you know the divorce is finalized. People can get hurt and not just saying others but you too if he isn't completely divorced from his estranged wife.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 2:30 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • hi honey!!! i didn't know you felt this way... talk to him about it and ask what his plans are. don't read too much into it. he's a super ice guy but just don't read too much into it until the papers are signed! have him use some of his tax money to file!
    lashes325

    Answer by lashes325 at 2:31 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • wait why are you on cafemom if you have no children
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Be very careful your not just a rebound. Your safe to him because your friends. Give him some time. I would remain besties and leave a relationship for a better time. Coming outta a marriage is a difficult time. I would offer the suggestion that if you care, leave romantic outta the mix. He is vulnerable. Besides it could ruin any relationship you have. Good luck. Think it through.


    hugs

    rosetoes

    Answer by rosetoes at 2:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Are you willing to deal with his EX and his kids?


    Right now is not the time to get into a relationship with him. Divorcing and all. When he is officially divorced. Give it 6 months to a year after that. You do not want to be the rebound relationship do you?

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:33 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Well here's the thing, I am more than willing to deal with his children. I don't even think "deal" with them is the right term. They're children, they're not something you "deal" with. And because I know his so well, and for so long, I don't believe I am the rebound. His wife and him haven't been together for sometime. And there's always been something between us
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:39 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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