Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Me being sensitive or creepy MIL?

The way my MIL acts with my DS creeps me out. Everything is : My big boy, my baby, my T. ( his name). She's all over him, begging for his affection

She has this shrine of pics on her living room wall of him and DH. But only a couple of pics of BIL. It's to the point where others notice, esp BIL.

We only see them 1-2 times a year and my DS is 2 and she never talks to Ds on the phone. And this last visit was the first time I really let her have access to him, because she used to smoke.

Something that really unnerved me was when she was watching him, instead of putting him to bed where him and I were sleeping, she put him in bed with her.

 
nwdeserangel

Asked by nwdeserangel at 12:50 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Level 6 (111 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I don't think you're being sensitive. That IS kinda creepy. My MIL refers to my son as "my D, my baby, my little man" and it pisses me off. I would not let him sleep with her. I'm sure she's a good lady but you never know what people will do. Besides the fact that you are the mom and the baby should be sleeping with you. In my situation, it drives me crazy that my MIL does things like that. She doesn't talk to my 1 1/2 year old. She's seen him four times in his life. But she wants to act like grandmother of the year. She wants all those pictures for bragging rights. I think the woman is mental and really does this my son is her son. Anyway, sorry I got off track! The previous poster may be right - she probably has a desperate need that she's trying to fulfil. It's really not okay to use your though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Cont'd
    I do know that she doesn't have a life of her own at all and she's been wanting a grandchild since before me and DH even got together ( she would have preferred his ex-gf be the mother of her GC).

    1) Am I being sensitive, even DH says she's kinda creepy when it come to DS

    2) How do I subtly let her know she's creeping me out?

    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 12:52 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I think shes acting fine. My mil is that way and my dh was her only child. She loves my dd and to me seems a but too into the grandma thing since I too am now a grandma, but hey whatever right? I love my grandson and would do anything for him too. Its alot diff when its grandkids and so hard to explain until youre a grandma yourself. I never understood that when my mom said that, but now I do. Just ignore he weirdness and be greatful she loves your son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • MY MOM IS THE SAME WAY WITH MY OLDEST DD. SHE'S CLOSE TO MY BABY TOO, BUT REALLY CONNECTED WITH MY OLDEST. BE HAPPY THAT SHE CARES, A LOT OF GRANDPARENTS DON'T.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 1:09 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • why would it creep you out that she has pics of him everywhere? is he the only gc? that's normal, even if she had 10 gc. my mother has pics all over the place of hers..she refuses to put the older pics away when she gets new ones because she likes to remember them at all stages of life.what's weird about that?? my mother and father can't get enough of my son, and i'm glad they feel that way, since i was too young to know either of my sets of gps before they all passed.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 1:13 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • well im having a hard time reading your question lol im not sure what all the abbreviations mean!! i did the the mil but what is dd dh and ds...i haven't no idea
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I'm wondering why she doesn't have pics of her other son around? I'm guessing she was closer to your hubby than the other son, or is it because the other son lives close so she sees him all the time and she keeps lots of pis around of your family because she doesn't see you all often? Be glad she loves him tho.... my kids only grandparents could care less about them.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:19 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • DH is Dear Husband
    DS is Dear Son
    BIL is Brother in Law
    GC is grandchild
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 1:19 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • BIL has always been her favorite, she's always enabled him. At 33, he finally flew the nest at 31.
    DS is the first GC. I'm preggo with #2 and she doesn't even seems to care that I'm preggo other than to use it as bragging rights to anyone she talks to. She doesn't ask how I'm doing or feeling at all.
    It's like, even though she lives far away, she wants to evolve her life around DS.
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 1:27 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • My mil was the same. Been there. As your child gets older it will diminish.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 1:34 PM on Nov. 22, 2008