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Is it jealousy or clingy?

Last year in October I had a rough time in my marriage, I posted on Cafe mom about it and the post is still open if you would like to know exactly what happened. Here is an update: The hubby is back home, we are living with his mom and step dad, we had our 3rd baby on 3-4-11 . We seem to have a stronger marriage, now here is the dilemma. I feel odd when he is sitting on the computer, or when he gets a text. I get jealous when he goes out, even if he has someone with him. I get nervous when he hangs with his brother( i think he is a male whore...the brother that is). I cry when he don't socialize with me...I sound like a teenager I know right. I feel weird and I cannot lose my marriage again he is not saying to make me think it but it is part of the insecurity that came with the problems. So ladies advice please. And please no bashing, I would not bash anyone so I ask you do not me or my marriage. Thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by AbbeyKAy at 3:21 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (545 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You should get some counseling for these issues.

    Answer by Hatsumomo at 3:26 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • My husband was like this, and it was only until I *decided* that I wasn't going to put up with his crap that *I* started to be happy and not worry about what HE was doing. I literally told him if he didn't want to be with me, that's fine but don't BS me. I made a decision about what *I* was going to do with MY life if he didn't want to be honest and be true to me.
    DECIDE what your going to do, let him know and tell him to get on board with you. Game over. Live your life, don't waste your time worrying constantly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Was there infidelity in the marriage? If so then I think it is understandable that it makes you nervous when he is texting or on the computer if you don't know who he is communicating with. That would be a sign to me that he has not earned back your trust 100% yet and that you two need to work on that further. Also, you just had a baby and you are married so I don't think that your husband should be going out frequently without you. I don't mean to work or the grocery store, but if he is going out a few nights a week with friends or his brother that seems like too much to me. You need to find something you can agree on for what is fair as far as how often he goes out without you. Lastly, you just had a baby so you are hormonal, emotional, and still recovering physically and you need your husband to be supportive and attentive. So I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are feeling and I hope it gets better.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:46 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • why do you feel this way about him? Are there trust issues? Did he do something that made you doubt him? Because you cannot continiue to live this way, you need to figure something out and since I don't know the whole story it would be easier to help with a little more info.

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 4:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I looked at your October question - your feelings are understandable, does he still talk/text this woman every day? His actions are the reason you feel this way and it seems like he hasn't done enough to earn back your trust. Unfortunately the unresolved feelings of hurt and mistrust will lead to more problems if they are not confronted. You and your DH either need to start having very honest and open discussions about these feelings, or attend marriage counseling to get help confronting the issues. None of this is your fault - it was his actions that have caused your insecurity and if he wants the marriage to work than he needs to fix the damage he caused.


    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 5:20 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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