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I have 2 boys Aged 10 & 12 from my 1st marriage. I just found out this week I am unexpectedly having another. I don't want to start over and my husband is open to any possibility (keeping it or not). I think he would prefer to keep it as he doesn't have his own. I am also concerned about my older kids' feelings, as their bio-dad despises my current husband- I know he would play the "your mom loves the new baby more than you" game. Any advice?

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SCon377

Asked by SCon377 at 12:52 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (9)
  • If I was in your situation, I would keep the baby! Don't worry about what your EX says!! I think that if you gave up the baby (whatever way that would be) you would be very sad! I think things will be ok. Don't worry about what your kids bio father says....it's not his choice!! I hope things work out! Good luck! And I hope you keep the baby...congratulations!!
    hailee2006

    Answer by hailee2006 at 12:57 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Have the baby. I have 4 kids from a previous marriage and my ex husband doesnt like my new husband either (probably because hes a real man who doesnt cheat etc). I got pregnant unexpectantly and we had the baby. Its been great. The kids dont see her any diff then they do each other because we told them she was the same as they were, same mom, same love, same family. Your ex can say what he wants but badmouthing a baby and their mom in the end will bite him in the butt. Hes just jealous and in time your kids will see hes the one with the problem and you moved on.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:02 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I wouldnt let ANYTHING my ex said play into my decision. Keep that precious gift between you and your new dh.....he or she is a product of your new love.....just teach your older children about unending forever love that parents have for their children and about how it never runs out.....they are old enough to figure it out....;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 1:03 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • gemgem Have the baby. I have 4 kids from a previous marriage and my ex husband doesn't like my new husband either (probably because hes a real man who doesn't cheat etc). I got pregnant unexpectedly and we had the baby. Its been great. The kids don't see her any diff then they do each other because we told them she was the same as they were, same mom, same love, same family. Your ex can say what he wants but bad mouthing a baby and their mom in the end will bite him in the butt. Hes just jealous and in time your kids will see hes the one with the problem and you moved on.


    Ditto! Exactly what I was going to say...

    Cindrella72

    Answer by Cindrella72 at 1:06 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I have a 13 year old a 5 year old and a 1 year old. My 1 year old is the only child my husband and I have together. He originally didn't want children but he is SOOOO happy to have her I can't even begin to say. We both are and the boys love her to death as well. Personally, I love having the "assortment pack" of teenager, kindergartener and baby. Your boys will be grown before you know it. This could be your last chance to have another baby. I wouldn't definitely keep it. And Congratulations!!!
    runawaybunny

    Answer by runawaybunny at 1:38 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • You would cheat your h out of having his only child over something you THINK your x might say to your children? First of all I wouldn't give x that much power over my life. He's not worth aborting your child. Next i would start NOW telling my sons how much I love them and that the baby could never take away your love for each one of them. A strong offense is a good defense. Get to the boys before x does and counter his negative words. Have your child and quit allowing x to run your life.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:22 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I think that this is not really about the x although this is a factor I think it is thaesimple fact that you are suprised by the pregnancy and are overthinking all the pros and cons. So, what do you want? Are you wanting another baby? Are you not wanting to start over? Is your current marriage stable? Do you have the fear of failure and being a single mom again? Adress all your fears not just the x and you will find your decision. I really believe that yuo have already made up your mind and will do what is best for your family...Good Luck with all you joy....Julie
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 7:07 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • When my boys were 8 and 11, their "princess" baby sister came along unexpectedly. I now, 10 years later, cant imagine life without her! The boys ALL (including Dad) spoil her rotten (she's really a sweetie, just likes things HER way) - and she is EXTREMELY close with her oldest brother in particular. If you treat it like a blessing and include them in the preperations, picking a name, etc., they'll be just fine with it all. As for the ex - don't look for trouble before it happens, and if it does, tell him to butt out. Good luck!
    jjandjsmomma

    Answer by jjandjsmomma at 12:56 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • who cares about the EX. Hes an EX for a reason. If your kids know you, they know you love them. Keep them in the loop. Include them in all. This makes them feel involved and that you care about them. Keep the baby!!!!
    I have 2 from my ex and he hates my husband probably because my husband is a law enforment officer and my ex is on the other side. We have a new baby and it all turned out for the best. My kids love their new baby brother and don't listen to their dad when it comes to the baby.
    Trish0704

    Answer by Trish0704 at 9:12 PM on Nov. 29, 2008

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