Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Why is it that when a man cheats

the therapist and everyone else on the planet always say "it had nothing to do with you" when in face it had EVERYTHING to do with me cause I'm the one that got hurt and it wouldn't have been cheating had I not been in the picture. Can someone figure this out?

Answer Question
 
ShouldHaveLeft

Asked by ShouldHaveLeft at 3:36 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,621 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • men are idiots! have you seen them whe there're sick or when they can't find the remote? all men are idiots and all women are crazy and all women are crazy because all men are idiots.
    lashes325

    Answer by lashes325 at 3:39 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • His actions was not centred on you. You and your feelings was not a part of the decision that he made when he cheated. That is what they mean when they say 'it has nothing to do with you.'
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 3:40 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • How can I not be part of the decision because if I weren't in the picture it wouldn't be classified as cheating.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 3:42 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • You aren't part of his decision b/c he isn't thinking about you when he cheats- the man is only thinking about their desires, not that of their spouses- and that is why them cheating doesn't have to do with you- does it affect you and/or is it cheating since you are their partner- yes, but that's not what people refer to when they say "it doesn't have to do w/ you"
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 3:45 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • It's rare anyone goes out and thinks to themselves, 'today I'm going to cheat on my partner." which is usually a case for revenge sex.
    Instead, they go out, have a great time and think to themselves, "I like this person. Maybe we can 'have sex / talk a lot more / trade pictures' " You were not a part of that decision making process. The mere fact that it's cheating only because you are in the picture is only a labelling issue. If you were just a gf, fwb, spouse, the decision process is still the same and it excludes you from it.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 3:46 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • It's been almost two years since he cheated and I'm getting to the point where I almost hate him for detroying a part of my life that I loved so much!!!!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 3:47 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • what they mean is his decision to cheat had nothing to do with you.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:48 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • No it doesn't exclude me from it because before he sticks MY dick in some nasty whore....he should think about what he going to do to the women he supposedly loves.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 3:49 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • It definately has to do with me cause if he weren't with me, it would just be a date or a casual fuck but since he has a permanent partner those things don't apply as an excuse.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Comment by ShouldHaveLeft (original poster) at 3:50 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • his cheating affected you, but it wasn't caused by you.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:52 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN