Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I change my son's last name without father's consent? PLEASE HELP!


My son's father is illegal. I have NO way to find him, and he left me and my son about 2 1/2 years ago. I have done EVERYTHING for my child, he has never helped, and for the last almost 3 years he hasnt been in my son's life physically OR financially. So here is my problem> I called the family court system and asked how can I change my son's last name to mine. The woman I spoke to said even though he hasnt seen my son for a while, he still has "parental rights". I almost thru myself off a cliff when I heard that one, lol, and she also said that he would have to either consent to it, or sign off his rights as my son's father. ARE THEY SERIOUS? First off, he is ILLEGAL, and I cannot find him. SECOND OFF, RIGHTS?? He has NOT done ONE thing for my child. Can anyone PLEASSSE give me some insite on how I can make this happen? That scum does not deserve to have his name after MY child's name. Isnt there some way that they can overlook it because he is nowere to be found, and I know I will never have contact with him again. Thanks for reading!! And please HELP if you CAN!!!!

Answer Question

Asked by AdrianzMommie at 5:22 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 11 (618 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • check the laws in your state. Here if there is no contact for 5 years you can run it in the paper where you are, his home town and his last known location for 6 weeks then just change it if he doesn't contest it.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:24 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • The only way you can is to have his parental rights revoked (which should be easy to prove if he has had no contact and given no support). It's a lengthy process, though.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 5:25 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I too would say make more calls. Find out. health dept, court house, maybe advice from an attorney. but I think you are gonna have to try and notify HIM by letter to old address. or newspaper. good luck

    Answer by kkbird at 5:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Oh no :( thankyou guys for responding, this is such a sad situation. I do all the work yet he cant have my last name. He really screed me when he bailed!

    Comment by AdrianzMommie (original poster) at 5:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • sorry, screwed* lol

    Comment by AdrianzMommie (original poster) at 5:30 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Yeah, a girlfriend of mine's ex husband stopped seeing the kids when they split up, and a few years later when she was getting remarried, her husband wanted to adopt the children and she wanted to change their names. All they made her do is run a couple ads in the local paper...and the name was changed.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 5:43 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • i know in mn you cant get it changed with out consent, and its hard to get the state to give up the rights of the father after all why would they do that when child support can rack i could file in court for abandoment and then i could change my dds name

    Answer by mckeemama at 7:38 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • If the fathers name is on the certificate you'd have to take him to court to change it. If he did not sign it and his name wasn't on it you can go to city hall to have it changed you'll just have to pay a fee maybe $50 to change it.

    Answer by MsViv at 8:57 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • i know that the laws are different from state to state. i live in Ohio and currently in the process in changing my sons last name to mine. His father wouldn't consent so i had to send a letter to his address to make him aware of when i was going to see the magistrate to have the name legally changed, i as well has to post it in the news paper. I will see the magistrate and she will ask me why i think his name should change to mine and if his father shows up why he think it shouldn't change, then she will decide to change it or not. SO it will be up to the magistrate rather or not to legally change his last name to mine. his father hasn't helped with one thing since he was born two years ago and barley sees him and when he does only when i bring him to his house. He hasn't taken any responsibly of being a father at all. I hope for my child's sake he will be granted my last name. i hope this helps you and good luck!

    Answer by blaykesmom09 at 10:02 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Honestly, if that's what family court said, that's how it is in your state/county. A person only needs DNA to have parental rights, his legal status in reference to this is irrevelvant.
    The only option you have is to file that he abandoned his child. If you have no idea where he is & it's been long enough with no contact (usually 6-12 months minimum) often all you have to do is run an notice in the newspaper in the last known area he lived in & if he doesn't respind or show up to court, he'd lose by default

    BUT, & it's a BIG but, you usually can't terminiate a parents rights if there isn't another person (usually a step parent) willing to take on the rights to that child. So, if you aren't married to a man who wants to adopt your child, you are probably SOL. You can check with a lawyer but, that is generally how it's done. & if you pursue terminiation DEFINITELY get a lawyer.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 10:27 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.