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2 Bumps

Do I expect too much?

I'm so torn! Been with my husband for 20 years, married for 12 years. We have 2 children, 10 and 4. We've been growing apart ever since our first was born. Now we are not much more than roommates. I've always communicated the distance that grows between us but ever since our second, it has gotten much worse. Almost 3 years ago, we were fighting so much about everything that he took the night shift, I work days, to spare the kids from fighting. So, we grew apart more. Now I live like a single Mom but with 2 incomes. I do everything for and with the children. He never finds time for family. I'm lonely and tired of walking through live myself. I've talked about all this with him but he has nothing more to give to me or the kids. His idea of family time is flaking on the couch while the kids play around him. My resentment and bitterness has grown to a point I'm not sure I can return from. Almost everything about him or what he does and doesn't do drives me up the wall. He knows how unhappy I am and all I ask for is family time outside of the house but he never has time for it. Do I expect too much from him? Is leaving the right choice? It defeats my goal but being single would allow me to find a man who is a family man. Tell me what you think. Thank you

 
Magumbo

Asked by Magumbo at 6:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • For your own piece of mind..... you know in your heart. I would rather leave and have self worth, happiness, love, companionship,, than to constantly be looking at a man who I have grown apart from and resent being in his presents. You are only prolonging what you already regret, its just a matter of how many more years you are willing to live unhappy. ( tends to depress you, bring you down, and make you tired EMOTIONALLY & PHYSICALLY.) AND THAT MOMMA affects the children.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 6:23 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • You'll never find a family man while you continue to live with your husband. End the relationship, divorce, move out and on, and make a life for you and your children.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:19 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I don't think you expect too much, no. It sounds like your husband is more of a roommate than part of the family.... And both you and your kids deserve better than that. Have you ever proposed counseling? I think unless he shows a willingness to work on fixing things, you'd have every right to walk away, because you're really not in anything I'd call a marriage anyway. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you, one way or another.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 6:21 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I would leave for a while (make him think you're gone for good) and see what kind of reaction he has. He might miss his family &realize what he took for granted and want to change, or he might be glad you're gone. Either way, you'll know one way or the other for sure.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:21 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I don't think thats asking much of him at all,I'm sorry your going through that you deserve so much more.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 6:35 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I'd go to counseling and see if it can help. if it doesn't, then you'd need to move on. but no, I don't think you expect too much.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • divorce his ass.......
    Mrs.Bryant1201

    Answer by Mrs.Bryant1201 at 8:53 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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