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Should i contact my cousins daughter....

My cousin and I were best friends growing up and she changed right before high school and has been in trouble with the law ever since (in our 30's now). She has a dd, emily, who is 13 and is being raised by the father's parents because my cousin is in prison and my aunt (cousin's mom) died a couple years ago because she was an alcoholic. The other grandparents kept my aunt away from Emily with good reason. My mom and uncles tried to get involved in helping out with emily but the grandparents were really stubborn. i think they think we are all a bunch of drunk law breakers, which we definately are not. we are a normal family, with the exception of my cousin and her mom. Anyway, im sure emily wonders about her mother and is confused about why she isn't around and wonders about our family. I found her on facebook and im tempted to send her a short email explaining who i am and that she can contact me if she wants to. idk, should i or not?

 
Mel_in_PHX

Asked by Mel_in_PHX at 6:38 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (6,704 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would. Just leave it up to her if she wants to contace you.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 6:43 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I would try and talk to the people raising her first,(her paternal grandparents) just tell them you understand their concern but would really love the opportunity to get to know her. If they refuse, I think you should wait until she's 18, honestly it's going to be difficult for her and will cause alot of problems/ hard feelings/ drama if not handled delicately, and that means, since she's a minor, with her gardians consent. Just think of all it will bring up for her, having her mother's family in her life again, yes there will be good, but also hard things, you wouldn't want a 13 year old to deal with all those emotions without the support of her caregivers.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 6:47 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Do what you feel within reasonable limits. If it were me I would just send a quick message saying hi and glad that the opportunity to reuinte has come and if she wants to communicate more she will and then you can go from there..
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 6:47 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I would contact the grandparents that are raising her. Explain your position and let her make the decision. The child is a minor and it isn't up to you to decide to get involved in her life, it is her guardians. Now when she is 18 or over, contact her.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 6:54 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I would, but be leary of how you approach the situation. Also, do not expect to much it has been a long time and you would not want no one to do this to your home front. But I sure would get in contact with her.
    dubewife

    Answer by dubewife at 7:11 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • absolutely do it. and even if she says no, I would send her gifts and all that on her bday.
    she's just a kid, and I think that no matter what we should do all we can for the kids in our family. No telling what she is being told. Just make it clear that you will always be there for her.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:56 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • confused

    Mrs.Bryant1201

    Answer by Mrs.Bryant1201 at 8:50 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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