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2 Bumps

In desperate need of advice

I'm done. I'm sick of the whining, fighting, complaining, and the disrespect. I loathe waking up in the morning because I know that my children are going to make my day "hell". I know that it's said that one should enjoy their children, especially while they're young, but my kids make that extremely difficult. I sometimes hate to see them coming because I know what's coming next. My 7 year old has ADHD/ODD and is a live wire. He is going 100mph at all times and is easily angered and frustrated. I also have a 4 year old who is energetic on top of whining, crying (at the drop of a hat), destructive, and one of the most hard headed kids I have ever seen in my life. I also have a 9 month old who wants to be held all of the time. I am a SAHM so I'm with them 99% of the time. My bf is usually out and about so I'm usually at this by my lonesome. It's getting so bad that my hair is starting to fall out ( in chunks) due to stress. I sometimes sit and cry because I'm so frustrated. Sometimes, I think about packing all that I can and leaving. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I don't know what to do. What can I do to get my sanity and my life back?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • are your kids on meds? you didn't say.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 6:57 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • You all need a good doctor and perhaps a social worker .
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 7:00 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Tell your man you feel this way and tell your doctor. You may be depressed (I am with just 1 preschooler, 1 teenager home, plus 1 teen who lives with my mom) and may need medication. Your man needs to helping out more if he's not at work. He's a parent, he should parent. Do you have family, a playgroup or friends that you can spend time with? That helps me so much when I'm over it.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 7:00 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Sounds like you have depression and kids will react to your emotions. If you are in a bad mood or are depressed they react to that. If you are upset they are upset. You need to talk to someone especially your bf. He needs to help you out with the kids. Maybe a friend or family member could take the kids a couple of hours 1-2 days a week so you can grocery shop or even take a nap. Hang in there it does get better.
    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 7:01 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • @ jenn: My 7 year old is on meds.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:01 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I concur w/ all the other posts, but I want to add that there have to be better tactics for interacting w/ your kids. The 9mo most likely feels the stress & tension & the "high energy" created & is responding to that w. wanting / needing to be held all the time--reassurance for them in the midst of "chaos" you might say.
    I am against medicating (children or adults) unless it is absolutely necessary.
    Your pedi should be able to guide you in the direction of books or a specialist that can help you learn how to interact & gain some control w/ the older 2. There may be certain foods &/or chemicals in your life/home that may be exacerbate the problems, your pedi should be helpful in this area too.
    For yourself, I think you need a support grp or counseling & a way to get a break from the stress, then you won't feel like you can't cope so much of the time.
    Been there & done a lot of that (not all). GL Let us know how things go...
    suemayonline

    Answer by suemayonline at 7:15 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Go to the library, and get a copy of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves:   http://www.naomialdort.com/

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:04 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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