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How can I help her?

My close friend just found out her husband has been sneaking around on her for the past 6 weeks....how can I help her. I have just been sitting and listening (for now) but don't know what to say. I want to tell her to kick him out for a few weeks so he really knows how it would be w/o her (he is super nervous she is gonna leave him and take the kids), bt then again, I don't want her to be mad at me if they do stay together or whatever--kwim? Any advice would be appreciated. I just wish I could make her feel better :(

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faithnseansmama

Asked by faithnseansmama at 7:06 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (211 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • you are doing just the right thing by listening. do not suggest a split or otherwise, that decision should be hers alone, just keep listening and being a friend. Girls night out and a lot of venting will be a great help. Bashing her man will not.
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 7:08 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Listening is the BEST thing you can do. When/if she asks you, then you can make recommendations, but in the meantime try to be very sensitive to the fact that she's deeply hurt by the man she loves, and, most naturally, she probably is hoping it will work out. If someone asked me for advice in that situation, I would recommend a separation--not necessarily final, but a time apart to resolve and heal. During that time they will have a chance to do counseling and figure out if they want to try to make it work. But you don't have to talk about all that now. Just encourage her to do what she needs to do to take care of herself and her children right now.

    (I'm in a situation where I'm trying to be encouraging to a young pregnant mama who's man is in jail for beating her up. He could be in there for several years and she's really broken up. Of course I want to say, LEAVE HIM! But I'm trying to just be supportive for now)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • just listen and be there for her. lots of times when you say too much especially about their man, they could get very offended and that could ruin the friendship.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:10 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Don't offer any advice or suggestions because as you pointed out it could all blow up in your face later if she decides to stay with him, the best thing you can do is what your already doing...just listening....a shoulder to cry on can sometimes be the best therapy.
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 7:13 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I think listening is the thing to do. Best not to give opinions I think. If she asks for you opinion, I would tell her that your opinion doesn't matter, that you aren't her and don't know what it's like to live he life, so it's up to her.

    assuming of course that she and the kids aren't getting hit. that's a different story.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:41 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Listening is a good start
    Mrs.Bryant1201

    Answer by Mrs.Bryant1201 at 8:48 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

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