Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Would you have a conversation with the ex-lover of the person you are dating (if u are not yet married) ? Don't you think that would give you a much better idea of who you are with ?

i think too many people find out info about their spouse AFTER they get married. i think if they knew certain things before hand, they would not have gone down the alter. what do you think??


Asked by gwen20 at 7:07 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 35 (71,622 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • honestly... sounds tacky.

    I think people find out information too late because they jump into things. How many women on here will say they got pregnant and then married, married before meeting his family, or started having sex at the very begining of the relationship.

    You dont need to talk to an ex-girlfriend to make a wise choice... you have to be a wise woman. Dont jump in the sack from the begining, dont think that he will change when he is married, dont make choices with only your heart. A wise woman can determain if she is making a wise choice... by simply acting grown up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Me personally.

    Doubtful that I would have that type of conversation. How a lover acted/treated another woman doesn't necessarily mean that's how he will treat me.. Different people, different situations, different relationship.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:09 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • and also to add to that the ex "LOVER" could feed you a line of B/S.... so that you won't be with him and she can have him back. No sense in trying to be anything more than civil to her. SHe's got no kids with him and SHE doesn't even need to be all up in ya'll company even as a friend to him.... she slept with you man... think one drunken night she won't try to again???? Don't be too trusting.....

    Answer by kkbird at 7:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • If they're the ex, there must be a reason why they are the ex and not the current.  I agree with pp, different situations, etc are factors.  For me personally, I would not have a problem talking with an ex.  Not to find out info though.


    Answer by CookieMom108 at 7:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Well, both my husband and I are still friends with several of our exes. So both of us have talked (and still do) to some of them. I don't see a problem with it. Of course, if you mean talking to exes your boyfriend has no contact with anymore, behind his back, without knowing how bad the break-up was, I think you're just inviting trouble, to be honest.

    Answer by Anouck at 7:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I don't like the idea. She might want him back and lie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:19 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I've talked to exs before, but that was more from the fact that they belonged to clubs and groups that we attended.
    but I've not gone into any extensive conversations with them.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 7:39 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I had an indepth conversation with one of my husbands ex lovers before he and I started dating. I worked with her and he came in to see me (we were friends), sat in my section and she was like "omg, do you know him?" It was kinda funny actually because she thought he had come in to see her! But the things I found out from her were things he told me about during our relationship anyway - he had dated her during his "bad boy" phase and he's so not a bad boy now!

    Answer by missanc at 8:15 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • hmm......

    Answer by Mrs.Bryant1201 at 8:47 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • I don't think it's a good idea.

    Answer by mompam at 7:15 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

Next question in Relationships
How can I help her?

Next question overall (Health)
Abortion safer than pregnancy?