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Is it the same as buying a gift for himself?

For the SAHM's....if you exchange gifts w/your SO for the holidays but you use SO's paycheck to buy it, is it the same as SO buying a gift for himself?

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Asked by Jessy0419 at 1:55 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • No it isn't. His money is yours, too, so you are just using your share. Something I did when I was a SAHM was to save any extra money- any extra grocery money, and gifts of money that anyone gave me for birthdays or Christmas, and saved it in an envelope, and when I had enough I bought my husband a telescope for his birthday. But back to your question, just because the money came from his paycheck doesn't mean it is all his.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:59 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • No just because his money pays for it doesnt mean its the same. You are buying him something out of thoughtfulness and love and it wouldnt matter where the money came from to buy it.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:00 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I would think so. Think of it like if it was your money and he asked you for money to get you a gift and even tho he picked it out you payed for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • If you two put your money together then yes it is, if the money is seperated then it's not.

    Answer by sgunn at 2:05 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Try doing something like we do, we just don't get each other gifts :) We go shopping together and get something for us, rather than fuss and stress and worry about what we are gonna get eachother. We also do this for Valentines day, and our anniversary.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:05 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Doesn't matter who's money it is, you're picking it out and as long as it's not putting a financial strain on you it's all good. My hubby typically will give us a set amount and we go spend that money on whatever we want (I use mine to buy him gifts) and if there's any left, I buy myself something I normally wouldn't buy.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:05 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I have a hard time with this. I stay at home with my kids, so I feel like it is pointless to buy things for my husband. And even if it's on MY credit card, he's still the one making the money to pay off that credit card. So, I really don't even bother. We usually buy things for the two of us or make a big purchase on something for the house when it comes to gifts. Yes, it should be "our" money, but in reality, he's the one that works for it. He doesn't see it this way though. He's all for, "what's mine is ours". But my whole life, until I had my kids and decided to become a SAHM, I had my own money and my own things that I would get with my own money... I could buy him gifts that I paid for myself. So it's really hard for me to see it his way..

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 2:11 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • My husbands paycheck is OUR money. Plain and simple. It's not his money. Whether I work, whether he works, it all went into a joint account that I manage. Just because I am a SAHM it doesn't mean the gift is any less of a gift.. I give us both a Christmas budget, and we get an "allowance" every month. The allowance is the only form or "my money" and "his money" -- we can spend that as we wish, it avoids a lot of arguments. If he wants to eat lunch out everyday - he can, if I want to save mine up and buy something more expensive for himself - I can.

    Answer by Serafyna at 2:32 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • For all the sahms out there that feel that his money is his money, please think a moment: if you weren't home to cook/clean/launder his clothes/organize the home and keep it comfortable and clean/take care of the children, who would? How much would all that cost? You earn your keep and then some! A marriage is a two party relationship, if he didn't have you to keep the 'home fires burning", he would be paying an enormous amount to pay someone else to do so!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Of course not. The 2 of you are a team and his earning the income to provide for both of you is part of that team.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 4:10 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

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