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Doesn't like "Doing things as a family"

I would like to know if anyone else has a husband/boyfriend that doesn't want to do family things. I have to pull teeth to get him to do anything with our children and I as a family. (That is when he will even do something) He always says he has other things to do but I don't see what takes up so much time considering when a friend of his stops over, he stops doing whatever and talks to him for a couple hours. Just wondering if anyone had any advice or the same problem.

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jen_0898

Asked by jen_0898 at 3:02 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Yes my BF is the same way he wasnt raised to do all the little things familys do together and he works alot so he is usually only home at night he is a farmer so he works weekends and holidays too!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 3:04 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • My dh is the same way. Mostly though because his mom and him dont get along and when we do family things she usually tags along. I cant even get him to go to thanksgiving or christmas if its at her house. I have to BEG. I dont know why hes that way. I mean I do, him and his mom are on the outs, but still. I wish he would get over it for a co uple hours.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:12 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I wrote a post on this about a month ago! It's soooo aggravating! It's almost as if I have to bribe my hubby with sex in order for him to do stuff as a family. AND yeah... the whole friend thing on top of that! I've experienced that too. It's very frustrating.

    I can certainly understand that some of the things might be boring or whatever for them (the men), but they just need to think about the fact that it's for the CHILD, not them. I get so jealous when I see other families out doing things that my hubby doesn't want to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I have the same problem with mine. It's so bad that I usually go to all the family gatherings without him and the kid's school activities. I realize he works hard, but he could put a little effort into it. And when he does go to something, he bitches about it so much, that I wish he would have just stayed at home! I feel the same as anon 2:23, I am jealous when the whole family shows up to these things and mine is at home cause he doesn't want to come! I can seriously count the number of times he's gone to a child's football, basketball, wrestling game or a scout pack meeting. GRR!!
    Sue41

    Answer by Sue41 at 4:16 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • hell no would i put up with that. what in the hell did he want to have a family for in the first place? sorry you are in that situation.... i wouldnt be.. i wouldnt put up with it.
    VelvetCat

    Answer by VelvetCat at 6:32 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I wish I knew the answer to this one too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Not my DH, but ME--I am the one who doesn't do things as a family. We don't have kids together(and never will) but we both have kids from pervious marriages. None live with us right now, but we do the EOW thing. I don't like kids and I don't enjoy doing "family" stuff so I don't. I arrange for my kids to be with us opposite weekends so I can work. Mine are old enough they don't require child-care. DH's kids, tho, are too young and he has to be at home with them--so I work.
    I"m just not the "family type" and perhaps your BF isn't, either. If you want him to be involved then you need to have a talk with him. And if he isn't the family type, perhaps it's time you split (DH knows I'm not the family type and he's ok with it).
    moniquesand

    Answer by moniquesand at 11:44 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

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