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When u marry is it all about your husband side of the family?

I recently married the father of my kids. I've always known how much he and his family talk about their family stories and lives, etc. Its cute at the beginning and you learn a lot. But when you keep hearing the same stories, are new situations about each other every family gathering it gets old. It seems, if I didn't interject and volunteer details about my side of the family no one would have a clue, even my husband. There's no conversation about me unless its what Im not doing, should do or need to do. My side seems almost none existent. Just wondering........ is this how it's going to be forever?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • yes, unless you speak up
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 11:17 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Yes, it is up to you to take a stand for yourself or it will be that way forever. You might have some battles ahead of you, but it is better than letting them take over.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:19 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • It's so obvious that this should NOT be this way and yet it is. What I really LOVE (sarcasm here) is when my dh's family tells me how much my children resemble all the damn people in HIS family. Never a thought (or reality) that my kids look a hell of a lot like my side too!

    I've learned to let it go because they're idiots.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:29 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • Getting married is all about the family you and your husband are creating. Family gatherings are all about the extended family. Speak up. But don't be surprised to find it goes in one collective ear and out the other.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:36 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • My DH's family talks about sports constantly, but it's mostly because one of his brothers was killed a few years ago and everyone has a hard time bringing up old memories... BUT, I will say that my MIL is constantly talking about how our kids look just like my DH and his brothers (even though my son looks EXACTLY like I did at his age, just with curly blond hair, which is just like the brother who was killed...) and she barely acknowledge any resemblance to me. It's awesome.
    jess_merrick874

    Answer by jess_merrick874 at 11:44 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • May I ask you a question without offending...How much time does YOUR family spend talking about HIS family? Most families don't spend a lot of time discussing their child's in-laws. I think it is fairly normal. If you have something to say about your family or a funny story to share, then speak up.

    Now your husband, on the other hand should certainly take a vested interest in your family.
    asmcbride

    Answer by asmcbride at 11:50 PM on Mar. 8, 2011

  • For some people this is normal. I'm not a fan though. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the same stories literally every time we see them. One time my husband got on to me for not contributing more during these conversations. I pointed out how hard it is to contribute when every one of the stories is from years before we even met. I didn't hear that complaint again. I stopped sharing certain details of my family's life with them, even with my DH, because they use it for gossip. They started asking inappropriate questions in what seemed like a quest for gory details of a relative's illness, how an obvious bad relationship was going, and on and on. It's one thing to be genuinely interested and send good wishes. That is not what was happening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • um no it HAS to be 50,50
    page101

    Answer by page101 at 12:11 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Well. to be fair.

    Do they live close by ?

    Maybe, invite HIS MOTHER out for lunch alone, and talk.......ETC.

    You and your family, what else would there be to talk about?
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:33 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • It is not like that with my DH. We are usually spending time with my family since my DH's parents are divorced and he grew up in a very strange house. When we are with my family we do tell stories about when we were kids although over the years we have changes and now talk about lots of different things.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:47 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

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