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No sex with fiance...why??

In the beginning of my pregnancy sex was fine, but now he tells me its bc of my belly. Its pretty much a turn off for him. Now with my extra weight and belly and no sex..i feel like a walking turn off. He has also told me its because he is stressed out and has so much to do he has no sex drive. I dont get it. Normal?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • awww...poor mama! like we don't feel self-conscious enough, huh? Well, on the up side, some men feel very uneasy being sexual with us preggos. Often times it is due to fear and they dont always know how to express that to us. They fear they may hurt us or the baby or even that the baby can see what he is doing and it makes him feel weird/wrong. Try talking to him. And show him information on how safe sex is during pregnancy...it can even be more enjoyable trying new positions fit for pregnancy (spooning is my new favorite!!) lol Try not to let him get away with giving you excuses though if you think that is what he is doing. Bring the truth out into the open and have him deal with it. Otherwise, you will continue to feel unattractive and we can't be having THAT!! (for it simply isn't true...pregnant women are BEAUTIFUL) Good luck!!
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 3:49 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • What's wrong with doggie? lol He can't see your belly that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I think some men might actually find pregnancy unattractive, but I agree with the other replier... pregnant women are beautiful. I was amazed looking in the mirror while I was pregnant, it was an awesome feeling and I felt beautiful but not all women do. My hubby was afraid to have sex at a certain point. Talk about it, try new things if it's the tummy in the way, take him to the dr so he can hear it directly from the dr's mouth, or go online and read/print things to show him. I had some of the best sex of my life during one of my pregnancies. You're beautiful, so don't feel bad.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 4:14 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Aww.. I'm sorry. I'm lucky to have a husband that finds pregnancy to be desirable. I don't know about other men, I know some think it's a turn off. I think it's selfish of them actually. Like, what do they think? Your going to have a flat stomach when carrying around THEIR baby?! Anyways, I wish you luck in that department. Hopefully he gets over it
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 4:23 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • My sex life has went down hill since becoming pregnant too!! this is our third child but we lived in two different states and he never saw me pregnant until this one and I dont think he is diggin it, i think that some are just turned off by it while others find it sexy I guess you and I just have two that dont!! I feel your pain sorry!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 4:55 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Oh god, yes...my SO told me how ridiculous pregnant women looked and how he never understood how anyone could be attracted to that. He said this ONE TIME and got such a "quality" reaction from me that his tune changed REAL quick to now if I say anything about being huge or whatever he says "You are going to be a mommy, that is how you are supposed to look" and is super gentle about it.

    He was apprehensive about our sex life too...more out of fear of hurting me or the baby than anything else. We are in our 3rd trimester now and we still have sex. It did take him several times of trying things while I was big to get comfortable with the idea that I'm still a sexual person and that he wasn't going to hurt me. I definitely don't think pregnancy is a turn on for him, but he's not terrified of it anymore.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 6:32 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I know alot of guys that hated sex while pregnant... becuz it was akward with a baby in there! LOL!

    Just tell him your feelings. Put something SEXY on! Good luck
    eykelley

    Answer by eykelley at 6:44 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Yeahh our sex life pretty much disappeared when I got pregnant. I know a lot of men that don't see pregnant women very desirable, but I understand where you're coming from. Due to the hormones when I was pregnant, I wanted sex more than ever, and it kind of hurt that he didn't want me. If no matter what, he just can't seem to enjoy sex with you while pregnant, just keep in mind that even after the baby comes, you won't have sex either. There's the six week wait, and on top of that, the baby takes up a lot of time. Don't worry, if you guys truly love eachother, your sex life will be back to normal when the baby is a few months old. LOL more like 5 or 6 months, but not trying to scare you! My baby is almost 4 months, and my hubby is FINALLY taking interest in having sex with me.
    sweetvietchic

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 7:58 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • when in bed just spoon and he can get to you and do you that way without the baby in the way.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:59 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Aww, poor thing! Like AshJoe05 said, I am blessed to have a guy who finds it attractive. But he was afraid of hurting the baby once I got bigger. I explained to him that there was no way possible he could hurt him...the doctor said no guy's wee wee is large enough to even get near the baby(l.m.b.o.!! talk about an ego booster, haha!!). Anyway, just talk to him, be honest about how you're feeling...And it will get back to normal soon after the baby comes. My doctor said we could start having sex again whenever I felt comfortable, and we were back at it at 4 weeks p.p. Don't get sad about it...you are beautiful...preggo people are definitely beautiful!!!
    cjo1366

    Answer by cjo1366 at 10:38 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

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