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...go hug your partner (flaws and all)

warning for all women who feel upset with husbands/SO and thinking of spliting up
unless he is a real a$$hole, abusive, or otherwise just down right terrible

advice, from a recent single mom

it is much harder to be single mom than a mom with a flawed partner
if you have any way to make your relationship work out
just do it

if you are just sickof him for a lot of little reasons
then think of the reasons you are not bothered by him, think of the wonderful things about him, consintrate on the good traits

keeping your family together is much better than not having the relationship

again, if he abuses you - leave
if he is just a typical pain in the a$$ man, then deal with it, make it the best it can be

now...go hug your partner (flaws and all)


Asked by fiatpax at 7:50 AM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I wish I could hug him right now... but he's at work. but i'll be sure to do it when he gets home. :) GL Being a single mom is hard and I was one for a long time before i found my husband... but you can do it and you'll look back and not be able to believe some of the things you managed to accomplish. :)

    Answer by Finkette at 8:06 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I am with my DH still. But if I am unhappy, then my children would pick up on that. I wouldn't want them to think that being unhappy is the way to be in a marriage. There are a lot of single parents who make it work. Of course it's hard to be a single parent, because when you have your child with you, you have to be mom and dad. You have to do it all. But if it were between being in a tough spot as a single mom and showing my children that a bad relationship is better than no relationship, I'd show them that I can do it on my own.

    Answer by laird6372 at 7:53 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • unhappy is relative
    what makes you unhappy?
    is it something that can be fixed

    all i am sayingis, that in MOST realtionships, it takes two to make it work or fail

    if you can 'fix' it, then do so

    if it is terrible, then by all means leave (I did)
    sometimes you can not make it work, then leaving as soon as possible is best

    but only looking at the flaws of another to the point of it making you sick of him, is not a healthy outlook on life
    everyone has flaws

    the grass is not always greener

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 8:00 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • This is very good advice. The truth is that problems in marriage are never 100% to 0% as far as blame is concerned. Too many women are too quick to place 100% of the blame on the husband rather than looking at the % of blame that is her own. If a woman will do this and be willing to work on the part that is her fault, the husband will usually change, too. There is the action versus reaction law at work. Happiness is really nothing more than a choice. No woman's happiness is dependent on her husband nor on how he treats her. That part is all up to her. So I'm in complete agreement with you!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:05 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • finkette, thanks

    i am single, i am doing it
    i had NO other choice but to leave
    and believe me i tried to make it work
    i just see a lot of posts about he did this or he did that, i am sick of him because
    i look back on my relationship with ex and know i did everything i could
    if i had some of these issues described by some women on here about their SO's i would be in heaven

    just think that we have become such a throw away society, even relationships are tossed aside for newones too often

    now** if he is abusive =then leave asap

    but if he is just a man, then turn your attitude around, men are flawed (but so are women- of course us women are less flawed than men-lol, )that is just my opinion

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 8:18 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • After reading a post this morning how one our member lost her hubby in an auto accident, this post is good advice, but if you are not happy in a relationship, you shouldn't stay. Life is too short to spend any time being unhappy.

    Answer by older at 8:20 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I'm not talking unhappiness in general, I mean unhappiness in a relationship. If two people aren't happy together, they shouldn't stay together. Each person in the relationship needs to do their part, and I didn't say all of the blame would be on one person if someone was unhappy. But there are things that are required for a happy marriage (love, intimacy, trust, communication, etc), and if that stuff is no longer there, and you can't "just fix it", then why would one stay? It CAN'T be on ONE person to keep a relationship together. And whose to say that there isn't someone else out there that could make an unhappy person happy.

    Me personally, I am happy in my marriage, so it really doesn't apply to me. But, if it came down to me being permanently unhappy or being a single mom, I'd be a single mom. I have to set a good example for my kids for how a relationship should work.

    Answer by laird6372 at 8:27 AM on Mar. 9, 2011