Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How long will the problems last?

My husband and I have been going through since we have married 8months ago. When will the problems stop?

Answer Question

Asked by ylonda at 4:53 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • When you both decide to work together instead of against eachother. If you resolve them now it will be easier than it will be 5 years down the road when you've aalready got in the habit.

    Answer by TiffanyLove18 at 5:08 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I have heard people say the firsrt year is ROUGH and that its commen....... I know our first year was and its starting to get better, some even say the first 2 is hard hang in there

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 5:14 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Harsh reality check . . . they will continue to get worse unless you both make the commitment to be proactive and work on the issues and problems. Here's the thing though. You may not even know the real issues. Sure, there are the overt things happening but they could be caused by some underlying factor. Do not underestimate the power of couple's therapy. It really helps identify what is going on and gives you the tools to heal the marriage. But, you both have to be totally committed to it and recognize that it is not an over-night fix. And, please DO NOT be embarrassed or ashamed by therapy if you seek it.

    Answer by have2travel at 5:20 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Depends on what the problem is... good communication is the best answer I can give and it'll only start improving when you're working together,listening to each other etc. It's as big change for most people, deciding how to spend the money, where and whern to go/when to be back home, who's job it is to clean/cook/mow etc... most are things that should've been discussed before you got married but it's an adjustment for most everyone.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:13 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I was going to say after the divorce but decided that wasn't really funny if you have been married such a short time. Can you sit down with him and list the problems and determine solutions to those problems? Communication is the key to a successful relationship.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:56 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • they are going to last until you can both actively work towards fixing them. Problems don't fix themselves and they don't go away if they are ignored or just argued over. To make a marriage work you need to address the problems and work together to fix them. One of the key notes to marriage is compromise and working as a team. If you both refuse to give in to the other or just compromise a little bit the problems are going to keep going. Good luck on working through your problems have faith in your marriage things will be ok. Remember that every relationship has problems it is in how you handle them that makes the important difference.

    Answer by bubblycute at 8:07 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • The answer is up to the two of you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:43 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.