Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Restraining order question

My fiance and his mom have a very volatile relationship and since we've become engaged and moved in together it has only become worse. Prior to about 3 months ago his mother lived with us. She became very upset because of jealousy (telling him him and I spent too much time together, I'm trying to run his life and control the house-so far from the truth) so she ended up cursing me out and threatening me and then calling the cops. They told her she was powerless as this is not her house and told her if she was that unhappy she could leave. She did but she refused to give the key back and take all her things; she only took things she thought I would use and things she'd given him because she was angry with him for not taking her side against me. So now she's been gone for awhile but comes back every weekend and starts an argument with him about little things. She tells him its his fault she has nowhere to stay (she left at her own will) and to sell the house so she can get some money out of it, she calls him nasty names and throws things at him. He takes it I say nothing and never once have we called the cops because we don't like to cause any serious damage. He only deals with her because they share ownership of his truck that is a year from being paid off. However he recently mentioned getting a restraining order and after researching it I have found that they will give him rights to the vehicle if he does file one and it is issued. I think having one for a year will give her time to cool down and get herself together. We're expecting a child and I have a 4 year old that she ignores as she says she will the baby. I'm just wondering is this a good idea to go through with. We both know its only going to get worse. Her ex husband, other family and friends have cut her off for her violent childish acts shes committed and he's the only one she has access to.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • You can try. I would see a lawyer which will cost more but lawyers know all the ins and outs and can make sure you dont miss anything that can help you with it, like with the truck for instance. She can argue why the truck shouldnt be given to him and a judge could agree with her seeing her as the poor lady whose son is mad at her, but with a lawyer the lawyer can argue for you and bring up her misbehavior and history. He can also call one or two witnesses like other family members to show this is a pattern. I had to do it years and years ago and it cost me $500.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:53 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Sounds like she has major issues. First off, I hope you've changed the locks. Give her no reason to come back. Pack up the rest of her things and take them somewhere for her to collect away from the house (if she's interested - if not, tell her it's going to the dump). Tell her clearly that she is no longer welcome at the house. If that doesn't keep her away, file the restraining order.

    Best of luck!

    Answer by Nonoluna at 9:54 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • it sounds messy.. the best thing would be to get a restraining order to protect you guys.. of course orders arent going to stop her from harrasing you but they legally prevent her from doing so. it depends also on the type of order. in australia you can have full no contact orders or only no contact on conditions ( eg when under influence of alcohol) or orders against violence of threatening etc etc.
    i think it would be beneficial for you to put one on. but be prepared she will probably get nastier. having said that, don't feel that the drama should be avoided by avoiding having the order in place. you should also try and get the locks changed. as for property you own and she has taken, you could always seek civil action to recover the property.

    goodluck with it all

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 9:55 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Wow that is a terrible situation. Do you think something may be mentally wrong with her? My aunt started acting extremely violent and nasty when (throwing things, having temper tantrums, saying nasty, evil things) we found out later she was showing signs of dementia...just a thought....Anyways yeah I think for now a restraining order would be the best thing for you and your don't want to risk her accidentally hurting your children in the middle of one of her tantrums. Best of luck mama

    Answer by Lucky209 at 11:53 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.