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Is this abuse? Something feels weird.

My husband's mood and temper can change without notice. He can go from really sweet to total ass in seconds with little to no warning. I am constantly apologizing to him or for him, changing what I might say or do, and obsessing over things like the housework all in case something would set him off. He does yell at our son over things that seems sort of silly so I find myself trying to prevent that from happening in any way I can.

He's never hit us, and I don't think he would, but it just feels like an odd relationship. We never go see my family but his family is here all the time. When I ask to go see my parents we usually decide we can't afford it or something of that nature. I don't think he means to be this way, but I'm not sure how much more I can take.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • This is a type of abuse. He should get counseling.


    Answer by JSD24 at 10:20 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Well it's a mild form of abuse, I would try to talk to him about taking Anger management

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 10:21 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • yeah it doesn't feel right to me either. talk to him about it.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:22 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Are you talking about my husband? O my does my hubby acts the same way! I do exactly what you do, make sure the house is clean, tip toe around him, get to the kids before he does. It is very sad. But as you said he can be the nicest sweetest man there is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • He may also be bipolar.

    Answer by MrsDAP at 10:24 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I do think it is a form of abuse, emotional that is, counseling is mine and my husbands next step. He has agreed to it. Maybe see if that is any option to yours as well?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • It is a form of abuse and relationships like this can start with verbal and emotional abuse and change over to physical pretty easily. His personality as an abuser is probably like a rattle snake who strikes at once & with precision. As for not seeing your parents, again it is a form of abuse to when he can get you away from your family and friends (with any form of justification) it is so they cannot judge the relationship and say something to you about it. Next time squirrel away the money and say you have it saved up and are going with or without him.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:27 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Yes, that is abuse-- it is verbal abuse. Also with him isolating you from your family-- that is a big 'red flag' right there. That is not a good way to live. If it were me I would leave.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:27 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • sounds like he needs anger management...

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:30 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I think your hubby should talk to someone. Maybe he should seek anger management classes or find a counselor or therapist. Also, YOU should sit him down and lay it all out for him- how he makes you feel when he flips on you, how you feel it might affect the kids, everything. Be calm and don't lay blame.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:31 AM on Mar. 9, 2011

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