Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Did you express interest in your man right away or did you play it cool?

first off, forgive me if I've asked this before, but here's my story.

My DH and I hit of off right away after it was clear we both liked each other. He introduced himself and I told him he was cute.
I found out later why so many women he knew were angry once they heard of me and our fast engagement. They were 'playing it cool' with him and taking the right steps since he was coming out of a engagement.
I guess playing it cool wasn't my style.
during our engagement there was a woman who he'd run into from time to time and she'd chat with him. Fine. Happens a lot in our activities.
Apparently the fact that was engaged never came up, because a few weeks after we were married I approached her about getting a outfit that she'd been making for him so I could finish it. She asked me why, and I pointed out as nicely as I could that he'd waited over two years for it and would like to wear it. She got cocky about it, like I was overstepping my bounds.
then came the question I and observers were waiting for.
"Just who do you think you ARE exactly? "
"his WIFE!"
she laughed, then some mutual fiends pulled her aside and explained to her that in the months that she had not spoken to DH he had indeed married me.
She lived far away and didn't see him much.
Some others thought I'd get mad at her, but it's hard to get mad at a grown woman crying over someone that she wanted to court.

I asked mutual friends if he'd ever even dated her and they all said that he had not!

I asked DH about it and he insists to this day that she had never expressed interest in him, that they made the agreement for the outfit, but other than that it was just friendly talk here and there.

Who thinks it best to hide your interests or to just go for it?
I think maybe I'd rather feel silly from expressing non returned interests than be the one crying over a guy I'd missed my chance with.

Anyone else?

Answer Question
 
ItsMe89

Asked by ItsMe89 at 12:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,130 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • No. I wouldn't marry a man a didn't trust but even if he was trustworthy I wouldn't want to marry a man who still had other women chasing after him. Even if he didn't act on it, it just sounds like too much drama to me. I wouldn't want to deal with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • don't know if it would have made a difference or not, but I didn't know that all these women were interested in him. I didn't live near him when we met, I moved to be with him a few months later.

    that and these women weren't making their feelings apparent.

    So while they were making plans on how they would go about courting him, he was busy marrying me.
    ItsMe89

    Comment by ItsMe89 (original poster) at 1:06 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Actually it was the other way around for my husband. He loved me but I saw him as a friend and had other men chasing after me. It got to be too much for him since I wasnt ready for commitment from any man. Eventually after I lost his friendship which I had taken for granted I realized I loved him and we worked things out and basically skipped dating and got engaged. We had known each other quite awhile as best friends anyway.
    I was attracted to the fact he told me how he felt, while other guys really didnt. I am not one who enjoys the dating world.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:06 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • My story's kinda like gemgem's as well.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 1:35 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • We were just friend the first few years we knew each other. I tried to play it cool.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 2:32 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • When I met LP, we were in high school and we had an hour of independent study time every day where it was just us, face to face, for two years. At first, I wasn't interested. Well, I thought he was a great guy, but I was with someone else...then when we broke up, I went for it full speed and I'm glad I did :)
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 6:36 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Well, I was young when I met my dh. And I fell so hard. I didn't date much prior to meeting my dh because I don't believe in wasting my time with someone I'm not interested in. So I would never hide my feelings I suppose, because that would be counterproductive to what I wanted lol. I certainly didn't play hard to get with my dh.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:19 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.