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How did you single moms do it?? =(

i have a bf,but i feel like if im single =( i feel like he doesnt take my pregnancy serious,im only 16 and dont really want to be looking for some one my baby would be calling daddy other than his real father..i really love him,its been 8 months together but since 2 months ago hes been a complete different person that i dont know anymore..i wanna know how you guys kept your head up especially while so emotional while pregnant....i really dont want to think about me not being with my bf but it really hurts to think about that it could happen..
people say i should wait until the baby comes to see him become more mature and serious about this new family,but thats gonna be a long 13 weeks =(
PLEASE DONT GIVE ME ANY NEGATIVE RESPONSES =/

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misty91

Asked by misty91 at 6:57 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Well, I don't know how old he is but I am sure this is also a hugeeee change in his life!! Let him be so that he can become comfortable knowing he is becoming a father. Tell him you love him but don't smother him. Unfortunately you don't know how the situation is going to end. Just prepare yourself and surround yourself with family and friends to also be there.
    kscmbz

    Answer by kscmbz at 7:02 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • HES 18..BUT TURNS 19 BEFORE THE BABY
    AND MYY BADD IM 17 NOT 16 LOL I FORGOT HAHA I JUST HAD A RECENT BDAY THATS WHY =)
    misty91

    Answer by misty91 at 7:03 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • your bf is to young to commit to this baby and you. he just wanted to have sex with and you guys did and you got pregnant. he never wanted this and i don't think he will come around. lots of grown guys don't come around. i'm not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings. i just don't want you to expect to much and hope that he will change when most likely that won't happen. have you considered giving this baby up for adoption? your too young to start living a grown up life. you have no idea how hard it is to be a single mom and your baby will not have a reliable daddy. your baby really deserves to have that and more. your bf is not going to change so just think about your baby and try to forget the fact that your bf is ever going to change. keeping the baby won't make him want to stay if anything that is why you guys are not together. this is to much for him to handle.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:11 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • i doubt he just wanted to sleep with me....i was his first and this i know because before we got together i knew him for a year we were bestfriends...our first time was like after a month 1/2 of going out =/
    misty91

    Answer by misty91 at 7:15 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I had my first at 18 I just turned 18 so did my dh we were high school sweethearts and it was very hard for us it is something that takes alot of work I would not expect him to all of asudden grow up once the baby is here it is probably just as scary for him as it is for you just try to talk with him and be open to hear what he has to say without letting it upset you My dh and I are still married after 16 years and are expecting baby #7 good luck
    if you would like I wrote a journal about it check it out
    abellvalerie

    Answer by abellvalerie at 7:15 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • when i first got pregnant this is what he wanted more than me,i will never give my baby up =( i love this baby to much..i know i can raise him with anyones support.
    misty91

    Answer by misty91 at 7:17 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • ill be sure to read your journal,thanx
    misty91

    Answer by misty91 at 7:17 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • You don't have to consider adoption some woman are so quick to jump to adoption.I am 34 years old and just had my last baby she is now one year and three months and my husband and I separted so he was not there for the birth I had to do it alone.So I was raising my three kids he came back and he changed. Men change some for the good others for the bad.Just stay in school and go to college nothing like an education it will all work out fine and someday you will have a house and a great job.I bought my house when I was single mom you can do it.
    monica277

    Answer by monica277 at 7:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • I was 21 when I had my son and my DH had just turned 20. He acted withdrawn at first and then came around after the baby was born. The thing is though that as my son got older, he's 15 months now, he became withdrawn again and has recently left us. All I can say is talk to him and let him know how you're feeling but don't expect too much. You have a child to think about and some people are just not ready to have that kind of commitment. Not saying anything about your bf cause I don't know him, but all I'm saying is that you can't let it seem like the end of the world if he chooses to not be there. You can do it!! And I know how you feel about your child calling someone else daddy, my son knows his father and will never call anyone else Daddy. But even if somewhere in the future I meet someone and it gets serious, his father will be his father. Just make sure that he is involved with the child whether you're together or not.
    Mom2Dano

    Answer by Mom2Dano at 7:41 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • will he change? Not any time soon. This is why so many parents stress to kids to wait to have children.. Without moral support it can be very difficult. I'm going to let your age slide and talk to you like I would an adult. Depend on YOU for your own moral support. How do single moms do it? We know we have to be there and we know we're probably all the child will have so we build our strength on that and NOT hope bd will grow balls and step up to the plate. That often does not happen. Make your plans for your future with your baby. If bd is there, then great and if not so be it. Find a support group with family or in a parenting class. Take Lamaze and meet others. Join some groups here on CM for single moms. Find some CMs in your area. You will do fine just don't depend on anyone but yourself. You can do this. We did.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:53 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

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