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Frustrated! HELP!

im a sahm mom of 2 fabulous little boys ( 2 and 4) and am 6 mnths pg with my 3rd ..lately i find im just super frustrated with them all the time... i feel like theyre not listening to me .. just plain causing trouble... and i find myself constantly yelling and even spanking ( no judgment please.. spanking on the behind is not child abuse ...) i feel like im always angry with them and i always feel guilty later... are they just acting out BC im so angry ... is it my hormones... i feel like this is just me struggling to be a good parent. and i feel like i am but i just feel so tired and irritable all the time.. my dh works 14 hr days for like 10 days in a row and i have little to no help from my mom... any help!

 
zperez0809

Asked by zperez0809 at 3:45 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,295 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I have been there. I felt the same way when I had my 2 little boys and was pregnant with my third. I think it is a combination of the hormones and them acting out because you are angry / upset. The best advice I would have is make sure you take time out to rest. If they still nap try to take a nap as well, or at least sit and put your feet up for awhile. Also, try to just get some me time. Even if it is a bubble bath after they are in bed. I would even find it relaxing to go grocery shopping after they were all in bed and dh was home. It was nice to go late at night and have it quiet. Remember, it is not you being a bad parent. So much is going on with your body and hormones. It is very normal for you to feel this way. Oh, it also helped me to keep kind of a schedule with the boys and activities. Have them color, play with play-doh, even have a certain time for a movie/tv everyday for some down time.
    JamieLK

    Answer by JamieLK at 3:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I think it's all of the above. Your kids are being kids. And, they're dealing with the upcoming arrive of yet another one. Add to that your hormonal condition & yes, it can get explosive. And, a pop on the butt never ruined a child. I know you are feeling overwhelmed right now. The good thing is, I think you are recognizing that fact. So, that having been said, when you start feeling like it's all coming down on you, take time out, take a few deep breaths & then look at the situation. Then, act accordingly. You'd be amazed at what a few deep breaths & a few minutes to cool of can do for your state of being.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 3:50 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Well, the first step to changing is recognizing what you want to change.

    It sounds like you'd like some behavior management strategies that don't include intimidation (yelling) or physical punishment...is that true?
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Your hormones are going crazy, it's making you a little depressed or irritable, and when you're irritable you're probably taking it out on the ones that you can. You need to find some relaxation techniques you can use during the duration of your pregnancy. In the meantime, be your kids' safe place to fall, not the source of their anxiety. And don't take their behavior personally, don't get angry, discipline without anger. It's something I work on all the time.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 3:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • It's a little of everything. You might check out 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:49 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • i agree that it's a combination of everything. your hormones and your kids teaming up together. i have 2 and 4 year old daughters and they are always mimicking eachother.. the good AND the bad stuff. so double trouble, if you will, and double my frustration. when i was pregnant with my 3rd, they were 3 and 1 and it wasn't as bad, because the younger one was more up my butt back then then her sisters =) anyway its normal to be frustrated especially considering all the factors. maybe getting them both interested in something? i know when i put on a favorite movie or break out the crayons, it keeps them out of my hair for a while & i can regain some of my lost sanity. my 1 year old is the one driving me nuts lately. just remember, this too shall pass!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:55 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • @ upsherises i wouldnt mind some other options on behavior management.. cuz apparently the yelling isnt working.. and @amybaby sometimes i get so mad i cant help to yell... i try to talk to them and say you shouldnt do this because.. .but sometimes especially towards the end of the day i get so frustrated....
    zperez0809

    Comment by zperez0809 (original poster) at 3:50 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:56 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • its all of the above. you need help! maybe you can hire a mommy's little helper, to get some stuff done so you can relax and enjoy your kids. a group activity will help them adjust to you not being able to chase them around the house all the time. sounds like they are bored.
    Arretsmomma5

    Answer by Arretsmomma5 at 4:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Awww I'm sorry mama, I feel for you....2 and 4 are both tough ages and of course being preggo your hormones are all over the place and your probably hyper-emotional anyways...making things even harder....I agree with Arretsmomma5 that they may be bored...my suggestion is to tire them out old fashioned style lol...What I like to do with my 4 yr old is take a LONG walk with her and let her push her stroller for as long as she can....by the time she gets home she's ready to sit down somewhere and be calm lol....just a suggestion. Good luck mama
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 4:16 PM on Mar. 9, 2011