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My 3 year old does not want to feed herself.

My daughter is 3 1/2 (will be 4 in July) and half the time does not feed herself. She knows how, but she often wants me to feed her. It seems like she does it most when we are eating something a little messy, something new, and sometimes seems like she just doesn't want to do it. Anyone had this experience? What did you do/ what helped you? Thank you.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • Doyou have a younger child that she could be jealous of? Kids will act that way and resort to "baby behaviour" when a new baby arrives. If not then id say its a phase. maybe take her to the store and let her pick out her own fun forks and spoons~ GL!

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:50 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • And never forget that you are the parent here. If she is acting this way and is perfeclty able to feed herself then tell her that you wont do it. Let her know that she is a big girl and will not be fed like a baby. She will eat when shes hungry. Dont just give in for the fear that she;ll starve. She wont :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:52 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • MY SON LETS us feed him too lol!~ otherwise he'd be a bird eater and he is already very low on the charts in weight... Max likes to eat with a washcloth in hand and also chooses not to eat when we eat messy foods too - he's a clean child - born that way, not by choice lol!~ make the messier foods more simple for your child - but really, eventually she won't LET you feed!~ good luck - its not an issue for me really - he feeds himself 98% of the time - the 2%, I can deal with

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:56 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I would just refuse to do it if i were you and that makes not feeding herself an impossible option if she's hungry

    Answer by lowencope at 4:56 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I see nothing wrong with it but I'd have her feed me as well. She'll get tired of it once she realizes she has to "work" to feed you and it might be easier just to feed herself!

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:01 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • my oldest (4) used to do this when she was 3 and was jealous that i still fed her baby sisters. i explained to her on her level that they can't feed themselves yet, and she's a big girl and can feed herself. i also told her she does not need my help to feed her anymore, and if she doesn't want to do it, she can choose not to eat then!

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • do all kids go through a 'baby stage' at this age? my niece did the same thing. she didn't have siblings at the time, and every time I saw her she wanted to be rocked and sang to like a baby. She wanted to drink from a bottle and things like that too.

    maybe it's just a phase.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • My daughter does that all the time too, she's almost 3 1/2. She still has trouble with some things like spagetti so if I see she is having trouble and not faking I will help her but the rest of the time she will do it herself or not get any food. Eventually if she's hungry enough I will see her spoon headed toward her mouth and we went out and bought specially made spoons and forks for kids so both her and my son have their own special silverware. Keep doing what you're doing and she will get the point, it took mine a little bit but she got the message.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 5:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • set the food in front of her and walk away and if she throws a tantrum about it come back and tell her I know you can feed yourself and you need to start doing this or you won't get any food; unless it is something like spaghetti then I help my son; maybe if she had her own special silverware that she can use each time she eats would help. 


    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 8:54 AM on Mar. 10, 2011

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